I was having a bad day yesterday It has always been my day I loved Friday the 13th even when I was a kid I was a strange child. It only comes around a few times a year and it was my day for fun. To me it was my birthday, Christmas,and Halloween all warped up in one day. This year I felt so guilty for even thinking of my special day. I think about everything I could of done differently. I could of been a better wife and friend to Mike and him to me. I could of kept him home that morning and the accident would never of happened. Too late for should of could of would of's but that wont stop me from feeling that. Yesterday It started with dragging myself out of bed and work dragging on and on I was just not in the mood for anything then my phone rang it was my friends 4 year old daughter calling to say hi and ask how am I doing. It was the first time all day that I didn't have to fake a smile. It is funny how just one little thought from someone who does not really understand or even comprehend how my life has been turned upside down has lifted my spirit so high.
The path we plan for our lives are not always the path we are given. Mike and I should of grown old together. we would joke about having wheelchair races around stores and getting kicked out of Walmart, spending time with our grandchildren now he will never get to meet any grandchildren never be able to walk his daughters down the isle life is not always fair. We knew one of us would have to bury the other but not at the ages we are now me 44 Mike 48. This sucks .Thanks for listening .