Christmas is over, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day holds no excitement for me. I have always felt that way. I have enjoyed Christmas this year, within it"s limits. I guess I will always yearn for what was the norm way back when we were still a functioning family, food, fun and family. I miss Ray, even when he was really sick he was still here, interacting with the kids and grandkids. Of course the grandchildren hardly remember those days now, five years is a long time in their young lives. Now their memory of Christmas is Aunty Shirley's place.
I spent a lot of time with my son in law's mother as she is almost blind now. She has been such an active and vivacious person that makes it harder to see her like this. I guess the children just saw us as a couple of old ladies sitting chatting and didn't pay us much attention. But they did get on with each other and enjoyed each others company and I hope that will pay dividends in the future. I left my cousins behind in England but have visited them in years past and have enjoyed their company.
Now is the time to relax and enjoy the summer days. It is the hotter part of the year so morning and evening for gardening and some cooler activity in the middle of the day. I like to read so that is what I do after the housework is done.there is time to catch up on friends too, those who have not gone away and those who are not minding grandchildren which is a what aged widows seem expected to do.
Church is minimal for January and that t gives me a break with only my visiting to do. It is also time to plan the year and maybe book holidays but I have no thoughts of that so far. This time last year I was excited about the trip to Hawaii, this year not thinking about heading off overseas. Another reason something needs to change in my life. Funny how when you are caring for someone you see this bright future..ahead "after" and when you get there it is not what you expected at all.
Perhaps there is a reason not to have plans and there are better times than I am anticipating, this could be just that after Christmas letdown I am feeling. I hope so because I want 2018 to be a year of wonderful experiences. I get a feeling that only I can make that happen.