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I'm just preparing to leave my vacation. I came to Mexico with a widow associate. It was an all inclusive resort but for adults only. My widow associate thought that would be ideal because we wouldn't be bothered with so many children that now flood many vacation hideaways. I dont think I would care either way. I love kids. And I've alWays traveled with them. But they are older now so this year we took separate vacations. I had no idea that an all adult resort would be an all couple resort. So it was difficult seeing so many women with their husbands. There were so many layers here. Couples at various point in their union. They met up with other couples and traveled together, ate together and had drinks together. I'm learning to be alone and to find peace wherever I go regardless of who I am with or who or what I see. So after a full week of watching relationships flourish, I finally had an awakening. I decided to stay by the pool all day. It looked liked everyone enjoyed it so I wanted to be a part of it too. But I wasn't really included, but mostly excluded. Because no woman is absolutely confident about having their husband talk to another woman who is unaccompanied. Well I sat by a young lady for about 4 hours. She was by herself and wasn't part of the poolside clique. She was in her world and I was in mine. We had lunch at the same time. But never shared a conversation. After lunch I decided to get back into the pool. All of a sudden I saw this handsome guy come into the pool area with two drinks in his hands. I was elated with her response. She immediately had this amazing smile on her face. She began to blush and started to glow. Her and her husband had reunited after an afternoon apart. At that point I wasn't jealous or sad. But an extreme amount of joy came through my body. I don't know if she knows how she looked when he entered her space but her reaction was priceless. I once had that glow. And my husband had many surprises for me during our marriage, but at that moment I was happy that someone else was experiencing it. This was the turning point of my vacation. So this all inclusive resort gave me more than just free drinks and food, it gave me hope for the sanctity of marriage. Even though I'm not a part of it anymore I'm just happy that others are having the opportunity to enjoy the person they love in a safe place.

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Comment by Maria Louisa on July 20, 2015 at 11:28am

Wow - that is so beautiful. I am glad you shared this. I will try to apply this more in my own life. 

Comment by Grenville25 on July 20, 2015 at 10:46am

thanks for sharing...not long after my husband passed, a colleague encouraged me to take a beach holiday "no one would begrudge you"...I knew instantly that it would be awful...to be among happy couples in the sun, after only a few weeks since he died in palliative. C'mon get real! I dont know if i will ever be able to handle it - certainly not with out a girl friend or my sister. Good on you for taking the trip and for finding something positive about the experience. I dont really hate seeing other couples...its just that sometimes a tender gesture brings tears to my eyes. Similarly when i see a couple, having a little spat, I think 'boy you 'll regret that one day'.   your post gave me food for thought.

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on July 17, 2015 at 9:06pm

I agree with Callie, acceptance of the happiness of others is such an important step for us to take.  It doesn't mean we aren't saddened by what we no longer have, but being able to embrace the joy of seeing love shared and be happy for those who are lucky enough to still have it just makes things better for us. I found that when I was able to think of others before myself that my true healing began.  I wish you well on your journey.

Comment by Callie2 on July 17, 2015 at 5:34pm
I am glad you were able to make this change as I think choosing to be happy rather than sad when amongst couples is a very important step forward. In the beginning, it made me feel sad too but then it brings memories back to that time when I part of a couple too. We can hardly avoid being amongst couples so it is good for us to just try and be happy as opposed to staying home! In two weeks, my nieces are throwing a party to celebrate my sister and brother-in-law's 50th wedding anniversary. All in my family are couples too, so we cannot avoid this. I have to remember that even though I was only married 21 brief years, it was to someone that loved me and made me very happy! Your blog contains an important message, glad you were able to share this.

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