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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

My shopping habits used to be so predictable, every Saturday morning like clockwork.  For 27 years while I was married I don't think I really varied from that routine much.  Friday was payday which meant I could stock up for the coming week.  Now I just go when I really have no food in my house that I want to eat and it doesn't matter what day of the week or time of day it is, I simply go.  

I went shopping this  Saturday morning, and it almost felt like I was back in the groove again.  I got in line with one of the clerks I've been friendly with for years because I'm a frequent customer.  As she scanned the groceries she asked the question which threw me for a loop.  "Are you celebrating tomorrow?"  I simply shook my head and said "I have no reason to celebrate at my house."  Thankfully she changed the subject and didn't probe further. She may never know the way her question affected me.

I drove home thinking about what we would have been doing to celebrate if he was still alive.  How the girls would be here, laughter would fill our house and we would celebrate.   

Sigh.  He was an funny, silly, dedicated, proud daddy of two beautiful girls.  The weight of sadness my children may be feeling is heavy on my heart today.  Even in my sadness I'm filled with the love you shared with them and the moments they will always have in their hearts of the man who loved them more than any other man ever will.  


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Comment by bis4betsy on July 8, 2015 at 5:59pm

Grenville25- I had the same kind of feelings when I first tried to shop after my husband died.  My husband used to deliver bread to grocery stores and I when I would go shopping and see the delivery guys in the aisles I wanted to ask them if they knew my husband!  Even now when I see the delivery people stocking the shelves I get all weird and I still want to ask them if they knew him!  


Comment by Grenville25 on July 2, 2015 at 8:21am

Bits: i came to this site, and blog, today because ..i went grocery shopping today...Since my husband passed, its been six month, and i tend to like ordering my groceries delivered. today in the aisles i found myself remembering his he would push the cart and i would rush ahead choosing things..i nearly lost it in the store. and i saw your post about shopping. well at least at this store the clerk didnt know me. thanks for sharing, i feel better about my morning.

Comment by Callie2 on June 23, 2015 at 8:03pm
Memories are all we have to hold on to. Cherish them as they are precious. Try not to focus on the loss but rather the happiness they brought us. This was hard for me to do the first few years but I have become very grateful to have experienced true love as many go through life without it. I think it's part of acceptance. It doesn't make us miss them less, but changing the way I remember him helps me, especially at holidays.

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