The day my husband left the house to run an errand and never returned because he suffered a massive heart attack and died--that was a huge blindside. My life spiraled out of control pretty rapidly into a pit of anxiety and loneliness. Gone without warning.
Within days of the funeral service friends and family members returned to their daily routines leaving me feeling abandoned and utterly alone...another unexpected blindside. For sure they would be there to hold me up when emotionally I could barely stand. Couldn't they see? Wouldn't they help? A painful blindside.
It is now 13 months. I suppose not a very long time in the grieving process, but another blindside. A perfectly wonderful man has come in to my life. Unexpected. My plans for my future did not include falling in love. Male friendship for sure, but not romance. This man has made me feel alive again. He, too, lost his spouse over 4 years ago and totally understands the pain and the loneliness. I am amazed, actually shocked, at discovering my ability to love did not go to the grave with my husband. It just happened...completely blindsided. This relationship may last a month, a year, maybe even the rest of my lifetime. Whatever the time, it is comforting to know that I am able to give and receive love and it feels incredibly wonderful. I want to shout so loud that everyone can hear, " I am alive, I am alive, I am alive and, finally, it doesn't hurt."