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  Ok this is the second dream I have had of Dwight since his death. First was very cute and flirty, so looking forward to the next one. The weeks went by and last night I see him setting on bed wanting to know why I let him die and why I had bought a new bed. I don't remember what was said but I know we were arguing. 

   I have been going over what ifs for weeks now. Even to point if I would have been. A better wife three and half years ago this would have never happened. So crazy. I know I have to move past this the 14th will be four months. Guilt is eating away at me. But really what have I done.  I was watching a movie where they were talking about when someone has a long term illness sometimes they have to die so every else can live.  It makes perfect sense.

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