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Article: Dating After the Death of a Spouse

This article was a good read for anyone who has begun to date or is thinking about it.

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Comment by jas71188 on April 26, 2017 at 3:10pm

OK - so I'm a single lady in my early 70's in pretty good shape.  My husband of 28 years was a diabetic so our intimate life was kind of limited.  First 7 years we were married, it was all good.  When he was diagnosed with adult onset diabetes,  (genetic thing), that was then end of a sex life.   I learned to reign in my sex drive.  I loved him & wanted only him, even if it meant no sex.  He passed away in August, 2016 & guess what?  My hormones are in full gear.

I went on one date --- online thing.   I won't do that again.  This guy absolutely took advantage of my grief driven emotions.  I wound up with a one night stand & it was devastating.  I am still trying to work my way through it.  I happen to be a person of faith so I felt I really compromised myself before the Lord & had to (excuse the express if you're not a believer) "repent".  Seriously. I feel forgiven.  Then I went looking for guidance in the Word of God to see how the hell I'm supposed to handle my sex drive.......yah, I know what it says about promiscuity.....that kinda thing.  What are you supposed to do?
I'm a pretty recent widow, so I decided not to get involved for at least a year.  But it would be pretty nice to find a male friend......not having a whole lotfa success with that.  I would sorely appreciate any experience any one has had on this stuff.  I have a best friend & she's awesome but she hasn't been through this kind of thing.  Thanks
Comment by aussiewidow on August 13, 2013 at 5:49pm

I guess you have to be lucky to meet someone who will become important in your life, just as you were lucky to meet your spouse.

I would be very sad indeed without the new man in my life making me coffee every morning with a love heart in the foam. He knows I struggle at times with the past, such as flashbacks to hospital horrors.

Perhaps it all depends on your life's journey whether you find anyone else. And remember there are pluses and minuses with every relationship.

Comment by Hope on August 10, 2013 at 11:55am
I am beginning to really miss the physical part of the relationship. Not necessarily sex, but the touching, holding, talking, cuddling, kissing and nurturing part of the relationship. I do not feel ready to date however. It is still very much Jim I am missing and wanting to be the one doing the touching, holding, talking, etc. I fear I will fall to pieces the first time someone else is intimate with me. That I will only miss Jim more. I guess that feeling will go away when I am ready for a relationship.
Comment by only1sue on August 9, 2013 at 4:09am

I just read the article and it made a lot of sense.  I have just done an overseas trip and I think being able to see things from a distance has helped get things into perspective. it also made me see it is a couples' world.

No, I don't feel like dating yet but another year on could make a difference I'm sure.

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