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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Christmas Eve 6 months after Cindy passed, I was in my bedroom playing Nothing Compares 2U by Sinéad O Connor over and over again, sobbing all the time. My daughter asked me: “Dad, why are you doing that to yourself?” My response: “Because, I need to.” My children did get to enjoy Christmas with Cindy’s family.

The second Christmas was slightly better, but I was pretty apathetic about any celebrating. Certainly much emotion and missing Cindy so very much. There again, thank goodness for relatives.

The third Christmas, things are getting better. But still, putting forth a minimal effort. Not as much sadness. Looking at so many of the videos from all of those wonderful Christmases spent together.

The fourth Christmas without Cindy is approaching. I have been looking at some of the photos. No sadness. I do miss her, but I have so much gratitude for all the years that we spent together. It does appear that as a family we are adjusting more to our new life. That it’s not just a matter of making do.

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Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on December 13, 2015 at 1:03pm

Yes.  I still look at the pictures.  But it is getting easier. Sometimes there are tears. But sometimes there are smiles too.  I cherish the smiles. :)  The awful truth about this grief thing is, it takes time. This is what Cec told me in the beginning, and I hated to hear it, but it is the truth. The pain will always be there, but it doesn't cut as deep as time passes.  Dancing with the limp. :)

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