This fall has me in tears constantly. The colors, leaves, the run up to Halloween. It's killing me. Why is that I wonder? Do most of us who had a long happy marriage feel it bad during fall? My mom (93) says the beauty outside reminds us of the pain inside.
Today is Friday. I usually don't think about it but today...
It's probably about 40 or 41 weeks since that Friday in January. If I could only go back in time. I would answer the phone, call 911. Maybe there would have been a chance he could be with me now, and I would never even know this site existed. Oh, how I wish....
I have been in denial - even through more than 9 months, the tears flow heavily when I'm out of sight of people.
It wasn't until I came here less than 2 weeks ago that I got a dose of reality. Only through reading the thoughts, feelings and supportive comments of all you here (you poor suffering sweethearts) have I only just been made to realize ... he's gone, really, completely.
I know I have so many things to be grateful for but the pain feels so fresh and is so so so so sharp.