This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Heard that one in a book I was reading’  basketcase in a nanosecond.’ Im way back to thoughts I had the first day. The sadness is back not that it was gone but there’s a heaviness to it. I was trying to do a workout yesterday morning and in the middle of it BAM it hit me. I kept going but my steps were heavy and lost energy. Now sleeping is more disruptive. Wake up in the middle of the night crying and with anxiety.  I have to get up rock in my chair the rest of the time .  ....

well guess this blog will have to be short. Lost all my thoughts. 

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Comment by Luv4Z on July 30, 2018 at 7:37pm

Thank you LadyG.  

Comment by LadyG on July 30, 2018 at 6:57pm

Oh my goodness...8 weeks is so new to the spectrum.  I feel your pain.  As Shellybean said it can feel like only a minute ago and then feel like it's been forever.  I wish I could help you through this but the awful reality is that we can't do anything but be here for you.  That however can be a lifesaver in the really dark moments.  I wish I had known about SS/WV early on to at least let me feel normal and not so alone.  We are here for you

Comment by Luv4Z on July 30, 2018 at 2:38pm

Lady G its been 8 weeks.   This flipping around emotions is so tiresome. 

Comment by shellybean on July 30, 2018 at 6:39am

Sweet Luv4Z, it is still so fresh and hard for you. (((HUGS))) to you. I'm not far enough out to give you much "been there done that" experience, but I'm here to help you through on this grief journey. I've been struggling with a lot of the intensity of those first few days as well, recently. It feels like yesterday, and a million years ago, simultaneously. <3

Comment by LadyG on July 29, 2018 at 11:45pm

 Yup,  it flips that fast. It sounds like it's early on for you. I'm so sorry. Anxiety, weird sleeping and eating patterns, brain fog. All normal given the situation. How long has it been for you?

Comment by SweetMelissa2007 on July 28, 2018 at 7:39pm

In the first 3 years of my grief going 2 days w/out crying was a sign of suppression not healing ...
Grief ended 3 1/2 years ago, however, even now at 11 years out, I still poke at myself especially on b-days, anniversaries & special occassions. Whatever emotions are evoked & released allow for a nice day w/out working at being happy. Recovery from a shedding a tear or all out scream is pretty quick ...
It also keeps me from being one of those reported about on the nightly news or newspapers who kill or verbally attack others for an unknown reasons. Booo! ...   

IMO, that type of loss of control other than a mental illness is mostly likely from an issue(s) that is not being dealt with. Bob's killer was always on my mind & society demanded I be civilized at all times! :-)
In time, you'll find a coping mechanism that works for you to avoid a build-up of grief ...

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