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I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Which in itself is scary, but in my quest to see and stay positive in my life, random thoughts shoot through this widow brain addled head.
One of the things I have noticed is how often we say "Before ---------------------- (insert name here) died"
Example: Before Keith died we went camping a lot.
Do we say this so we can say our loved ones name out loud? Do we say this to remind people that we had a life with someone who is gone? Do we say this to remind ourselves that our loved one is gone? (Like we really need reminding) Do we say this because that is just exactly how our loved ones death has defined us? That we can only think of memories by inserting that phrase?
I dont want that phrase to define me anymore. I dont want it to define Keiths place in my life anymore. I dont want that phrase to define Keiths life. He was alive. He lived. And I think that I am doing him a disservice by only referring to him by saying before he died.
So I am choosing to say "When Keith was alive" instead of the other phrase.
Example: When Keith was alive we went camping a lot. Or better yet When Keith was alive, I loved him with my whole heart. Doesnt that sound a whole hell of a lot better then Before Keith died, I loved him a whole lot?
Think about it.