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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Shouldn't these be the BEST years of our lives?

We should be out and about, roaming the city, discovering the latest trends. Eating gourmet ice cream and drinking whatever hipster coffee is IT at the moment. We should be at the bars, drinking craft beers, laughing and having a merry good time with our friends. We should be celebrating all the milestones together - children, our wedding anniversaries, a job promotion. We should be planning our trip to Vietnam in October. We would have been at the baseball game tonight, rooting for our team, enjoying our gharadelli ice cream sundae. This is our youth. We were suppose to enjoy it together. We were suppose to grow old together!

This year is the best year for our friends. Wedding. Babies. But it's the worse for us.

I went to sleep that one night....and my life changed forever.

(This last sentence was copied from the book "the year of magical thinking" by Joan Didion where she repeatedly writes, you sat down for dinner...and life as we know it ends)

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Comment by Ang on August 7, 2016 at 10:32pm
Christina, i really recommend you check out the year of magical thinking by Joan Didion! The book is about how she lost her husband suddenly and unexpectedly and how she grieved. It's very raw and very well written. She writes everything that we are thinking but cannot put into words. The book really spoke to me and I flagged so many pages. She talks about how it's the ordinary nature of everything preceding the event that preventing her from truly believing it happened.

It was an ordinary day for all of us...and that is hard to believe.

It's also not your typical self help book. My friend who lost her husband lent this book to me and I read it every night. And will probably re-read it

https://www.amazon.com/Year-Magical-Thinking-Joan-Didion/dp/1400078431
Comment by Christina on August 7, 2016 at 8:34pm

you sat down for dinner...and life as we know it ends  ---->  THIS!!!!!!  This literally happened to me!!!! I sat down for dinner....and life as I knew it ended. I still sit in that very seat for dinner each night and remember "before." It will never be "before" again. At times I feel like I was delusional to have thought that my life was perfect.....to not have seen what was coming from a mile away.... but it hit me upside the head like a baseball bat out of the blue. 

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