"Carrying a Hole" - its an oxymoron. How does one carry a hole?
Usually when we think of carrying something we think of carrying weight, substance, bulk. How can one carry a hole? I guess we can carry something with a hole in it, but you cant carry just the hole. In the context of grief though, "Carrying a Hole" makes perfect sense. We carry a hole everywhere we go. A hole in our hearts, a hole in our lives where someone used to be. A hole in our beds, where our partners slept. A hole in our families, a hole in our social groups, a hole in our decisions, a hole in our holidays, a hole in our homes, a hole in our plans, a hole in our dreams, a hole in our sense of self.... Its a big hole and it is exhausting carrying it around.
You cant put it down either, for a breather. You cant fill it up or put a patch over it. You cant hand it to someone else. Maybe the hole shrinks a bit over time? Or does it just get easier to carry as we get stronger? I dont know, but I am sure tired of the hole that I carry.