A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
Choices... be free and be well.
I wrote some today about how luck is sure nice, especially good luck-- but we still have the gift of choice. Sometimes the only choice I can make is whether or not I will wear makeup and deal with the runny mascara when I cry or if I'll just go without the face goop. I usually choose to wear the face goop. But, I do have a choice.
Sometimes, I'm lucky in a good way. I was really lucky to find w'ville. You all saved me when I could barely find my bra and panties, much less, my makeup. Amazing that I could cry at all when I was so numb. And, there was the panic, too.
You can either wait for some luck to change or you can choose to do some work. Like take a shower, face the bills that need to be paid, or organize your sock drawer. I'm taking baby steps, now when I used to bound and leap. Baby steps will have to do for now. I'm pretty proud of them.
You can quote me on this one:
Limitations abound when you believe you have no choices. Think instead that choices are abundant. Each choice will have unique arguments for it. Each choice will have it's own contraindications. But, just know that when you are stuck, it's because you believe that there are no choices at all. Not so. Be free and be well.
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Comment by Susan on January 28, 2013 at 6:18pm -
somedays I can't even choose to get dressed. So when I do, I am proud of myself. This weekend I accepted a friend's invitation to dinner. I wasn't hungry, wasn't up to small talk, but I certainly wasn't up for yet another night alone. So I chose to accept. It was a good choice. Four hours without crying--I'll take that. Small steps, small victories.
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Comment by MissingRKK on January 28, 2013 at 2:12pm -
Thank you for that. I've been feeling so stuck but the truth is that I have so many choices, I don't know where to begin. I think it has been hard to remember that even the little choices and decisions we make count. It is a choice to get up and get dressed and to do all the little things that make us sad or feel so daunting and it is hard to remember that there is strength in just getting up each day and making those small choices. Yes, Samantha, do congratulate yourself for all the small victories, small actions that add up to something big.
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Comment by Samantha (was clare) on January 27, 2013 at 9:53pm
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Hmmm, when reading here about people making changes I only have thought of the big changes and that I can barely breathe, much less make decisions that I have read here....I never thought of things like, taking a shower, making the bed, getting out of bed, getting out of the bedroom before 4pm, as accomplishments....I was feeling a failure at this (?) because I cannot make big choices now. Its been 4 months, the first two months I barely remember (except the massive amount of paperwork, settling bills, insurance, etc). I made i thru all of that, mostly with no help...but now I can barely remember to set my alarm, eat, and pay monthly bills like cable, phone.....after all the med offices I yelled at, insurance companies I set many many copies of stuff, changed paperwork (a horrifying experience that sends me to the depths of depression, I feel like I am erasing my husband every time I have to remove his name from something..then I fall apart when the document comes without his name... seems like basic things are a major chore. So maybe I need to congratulate myself more for getting out of bed, putting the wet laundry in the dryer and turning it on, etc ..now i get the small steps thing.....thank you sam
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Comment by janet on January 27, 2013 at 3:38pm -
Beautiful Sharon.
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Comment by Lori on January 27, 2013 at 2:17am -
love that so much sharon about choices and widville. Thank you
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