Haven’t written for a while. Always difficult during the holiday season. Just returned from a two week holiday with my daughters. It was a lovely escape after the Christmas rush. But now we are back home and reality strikes when you realise how much I really miss my husband and the girls their dad it is so quiet without him. But life must go on.
Christmas is still hard. Since my late husband passed 4 years ago, I would often go and see his mum and his sisters would often be there. So good chance for my girls to see their dads family. I would often had to push them as often they didn’t want to go. I mainly went for them and my husband. But it’s come to the point when I was going and my in-laws would often ignore me make me feel unwelcome, or I would often call my mother in law and she would often be cold towards me over the phone to the point I would end up crying after talking to her. And couple of times hanging up on me. She refuses to come and visit us (only comes on my daughters birthdays) but always expected me to go over. Sad but to this day feel they don’t want me part of the family, often mother in law said “girls are family” or “you have your family and I have mine”.
I feel they blame me for my husbands passing, they never showed compassion or empathy towards me and never offered support after asking for it. It’s come to the stage girls to don’t want to go anymore. I mainly went for the girls took them for her birthday, Easter and made sure we dropped in Christmas just to see her. She only visited once in the last year. I feel emotionally abused by her treatment. Feel like I am grieving again. Only her youngest daughter has tried to catch up but when I have mention the treatment from her mum or sister she tries to make excuses or puts the blame on me why aren’t I am going to her mums more often.
No one from my in-laws has given me any support since my husband passed their son or brother. That’s why I moved to live close to my family. Which thank God have been amazing, they often call, pop in, invite us for holidays, and asks if I am ok. Sadly my in-laws hate me for moving out to be close to my family when they wouldn’t pop in to see how we were when we lived close by or if we needed anything. It’s come to the stage I feel uncomfortable and unwelcome when visiting. If you were me would you distant yourself or continue to accept this treatment? My girls teenagers don’t want to visit.