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Comfortably numb... As the song goes

This coming Tuesday, Nov 10 will be 4 years, 9 months.

So much has changed since my Hubby was here.

The summer was super long this year, we've only just went down in temps here in California 1 week ago.

Back in the year 2011 (the year hubby passed) summer was over in September. My hubby's oldest grandson (from his previous marriage) now has a child of his own, would be my husband's first great-granddaughter. Also, this year one of my hubby's sisters passed away at the young age of 54. I am not close to that side of the family. Although I did attend services, alone. These are things that would have affected my Hubby though, and therefore me, had he still lived. In August, my husband's son-in-law made a pass at me. He and his wife, my stepdaughter, had recently separated, and he came over to my house, drunk, but I didn't know it yet, until he tried to kiss and put his hands on me. How dare he!! This would not have happened had my Husband still lived. Now I am left with the awkwardness having to avoid my step son-in-law (he lives across the street) ugh

So many things have changed since my Hubby was here with me. Things that would have happened had he still been here, and things that would not have happened if he were here.

Many things around this old house are in disrepair. For example, doorbell doesn't sound, leaky toilet, leaky shower, oven stopped working, lawnmower wont turn on, waterhose is busted, trees are overgrown, washing machine repairs kept running too costly so i threw it out, so no washer now, etc... Just to name a few. My Hubby was a DIY kind of man, and strong too. He would have fixed these things. Instead these things remain "not working". I can't afford to pay for service, most of which I have looked into, and are too costly for me. My kitchen sink pipes broke this friday out of the blue. Gratefully, my Son fixed/replaced pipes yesterday. Yay! So yet other things that have changed since my Hubby was here. I Am not sure that he would be happy with the way things have been handled around here??  I don't fuss nor fret over these things. What's the point of that. I remain comfortably numb.

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