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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

On March 13, 2013 (37 weeks, 2 days ago), my husband left our driveway at 7:59 pm with a family friend as a favor. At 8:08 pm (which i learned about at 10:17 pm later that night) the car in which he was a passenger missed a curve on the county highway one mile from our home, and hit a tree. My husband was life-flighted to Mercy Medical Trauma Center, where he was pronounced dead at age 50.

I was 14 years old, he was 16 when we met. We were highschool sweethearts, best friends, soul mates, and parents to 4 children, ages 6, 21, 23, and 27. We grew up together, loving each other for 33 years. 71% of our lives on Earth were spent together.

I am far from "cured" of the ravages this journey has inflicted on me nor is my family.

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Comment by Mstexan on December 4, 2013 at 12:42pm

TomsWife, so sorry for your and your children's loss.  And no, you will never be "cured", nor will you want to be, because you will always want to carry the wonderful memories of your life together.  I pray that you will find some way to carry yourself to a place where the grief doesn't steal your life and happiness, and you can get some measure of peace.  It takes time and great effort to move through this journey.  Thinking of you.

Cathy

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on November 30, 2013 at 7:55am

Unfortunately, TomsWife, there is no cure ... now is the time to just be kind to yourself. To do what you can when you can. The first year is especially hard. And if staying at home instead of joining family gatherings is what you need, do that. Having a 6 year old at home does add extra responsibilities - especially during the holidays - but perhaps your older children can help you there?

I married right out of high school and 'grew up' with my husband, too. I understand how hard this is. I just passed the 3 year mark and have learned that time does soften the edges of our grief. You can survive this. One day, one little step at a time.

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