Members

This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Today, February 15, marks the day a beautiful tradition started between Elaine and me.  I don't even remember what year, but she sent me to the drug store the day after Valentine's day, and all the candy was on sale.  I saw a 2.5 pound tub of candy hearts for 50 cents, and couldn't resist it.  When I got home and showed her, she flippantly said "What are you going to do, write me a love letter with them?" and went upstairs.  That's about all it takes for me, she gave me the idea and I did write her a love letter with candy hearts.  Write a couple words, glue a heart on the paper, couple more words, another heart. . .I thought she'd get a laugh out of it and then forget it, but she thought it was the nicest thing she ever got.  She showed it to everyone that came over, and couldn't stop talking about it.  So every year after that, she got a love letter written in candy hearts.

On one level, it was just a cutesy little thing I did as a joke, but it became more than that.  Elaine was someone that appreciated any little thing that anyone would do for her.  I once was at the store and saw a magazine I thought she would like, and bought it for her.  That was enough to bring her to tears.  It also represented the life that we had together.  We both did what we could to make each other happy.  We got along so well because we both looked out for each other.  Our lives were not our own.  That's not too popular in this self-obsessed culture, but it worked.  It worked marvelously.  Every year, she knew she would get a love letter written in candy hearts, that was no surprise.  But it was important to me to do this one little thing to let her know how much I loved her.  Among the pictures and mementos of Elaine at her funeral, I brought a candy heart letter.  I didn't want to show off what a good guy I was.  I wanted to show how much she was loved, because she deserved to be loved and gave more than I was ever able to return to her.

Views: 128

Comment

You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

Comment by my roses on March 22, 2014 at 12:18am

My roses

 

Alan RRT this was a lovely post and brings back memories for me too. When I first met Wes I got a large box with a lid and I handpainted it.  I gave it to him and he was so surprisesed.  It is now filled with all our love letters, Anniversary  and Valentine cards.  He would choose cards with the most beautiful words (never saw one's like this in a shop) and then he would add his own most loving words.  I had never known anyone who did this before,  no one could doubt that we loved each other to the height and depths of our life together. Recently, there was a discussion on a radio program and the topic was do we still need Valentine's Day.  Some men spoke saying Well I tell my wife I love her everyday, and another said Well I bring her breakfast every morning and do things for her etc. and both agreed that  V. Cards were not really needed.  I then rang the station and said : I had lost my husband and  if there had not been a Valentine Day I would never have these beautiful cards, full of wonderful statements of love, which I can still cherish. 

Comment by Lisa ( Marielee) on March 16, 2014 at 9:28pm

Alan - This such a sweet and loving idea. Hugs my friend !

Comment by JPSwifeCathy on February 19, 2014 at 1:51pm

thinkin & praying for ya Alan

Comment by Clearwater Widower on February 17, 2014 at 7:19am

It's the seemingly little things.  Thank you for sharing Alan :-)

Comment by Marsha on February 16, 2014 at 2:19pm

Alan what a beautiful memory! Thank you for sharing!

© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service