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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Does one ever stop being a widow

Its been forever since I last looked in .Three years and one thinks 'I've got things under control' The whirlwind of family work makes one forget how truly alone One is.Then it strikes you and you feel that old familiar ache and run to sob into his clothes that occupy a little corner of your closet.
I have realized how alone and lonely I am.Little wonder then that I blog out my grief mourning with strangers who will never know me :(
I would like to travel but can't bear the idea of going anywhere alone .
Sorry for adding to the sadness .I want to cheer everyone but .....

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Comment by Denise on July 12, 2015 at 11:00pm
Sometimes one wonders y me ? I lost my mom at the age of two,veritable sad sack story.I got married at 17 (I couldn't live with the shame of being abused by a man at 16. You think you asked for it ) became a mother at 18 .grew to love my man for the last 37yrs and just when you think ,ok life's looking up you lose once again.
This post is not written to make you feel sorry for me .its to make you understand life is tough and you just got to live it !
I doubt I will look to marry again but I do miss holding hands,snuggling up on a cold winters day ...
Comment by Callie2 on July 12, 2015 at 3:24pm
We may always be widowed or a widow, but let's not forget we are still "us". It doesn't have to define us, it is an experience that we have had but we will survive. I still have my sad moments and I guess those feelings never really go away. I try to remember how fortunate I am to have had that love as an awful lot of people go through life never finding that. It's still hard to accept but I guess it's just the way life goes. He gave my life meaning, I can't imagine what things would be like had we never met!
Comment by chef (John) on July 12, 2015 at 5:43am

In a week I'll be four years out.

To be blunt, I'll always be a widower--even if I were to marry again--which I feel is unlikely. My days are usually "good" ones nowadays, but I will always have my "moments" and triggers. It is just "part of my life" now. In the early days, I didn't want to live into the next minute. I often couldn't see tomorrow, and yet--here I stand.

Never apologize for being sad. Venting is far better than holding it in.

Comment by MaryJ on July 3, 2015 at 9:11am

You are right - we feel better grieving to strangers, but really we all share the common thread, the bond of knowing what its like to loose the love of our lives, so that doesn't make us strangers anymore.  Perhaps it makes us all friends who understand.

Comment by MaryJ on July 3, 2015 at 9:06am

I feel all alone too.  When I run into people they all tell me that "I'm looking well and seem to be doing okay", but I'm not, I'm really not.  I put on a mask so that I don't burden people with my sadness - they wouldn't understand the sadness anyway, so I've stopped explaining it.  It's almost three years for me, but it still feels like yesterday.

Comment by Greyhound Mom on July 1, 2015 at 10:23am

This is exactly how I feel after 15 months. I was so hoping that 3 yrs out it would be better. I know, however, that this is a process and that there will be good times and bad. As with everything, this too shall pass. We all just need to plug on and try to remember the good times and that our spouses would want us to be happy. I know mine would.

Comment by Callie2 on June 23, 2015 at 11:35am
It is okay to share your feelings, we try to hold each other up and offer encouragement. It takes time until we realize how alone we really are. Some days I am okay with it and other days, not as much. Some people react by finding new interests (including new loves) some of us not sure what we want! Maybe you can set a few short-term goals relating to social interaction, even if it feels a little awkward or uncomfortable. This can be simple as attending a movie or show, alone, or find an old friend to join you. There are lots of local warm-weather events in my area, I'm sure there probably are in yours too. I know this is hard, but comparing it to the grief you've been through already, you can do this.
Comment by Phyllis on June 23, 2015 at 6:45am

I'll be at three years in mid-August and while it seems like a long time, I don't feel as okay as I thought I would.  This time has gone so fast and it doesn't seem possible that it has actually been this long. When I start saying something starting with "a few years ago", I have to add four years (the year of illness and three since death) and I realize how long it has been since I've been happy.   I think I'm doing everything right and on the outside it may seem that way, but I'm still so sad inside.   

Comment by Sad One on June 21, 2015 at 3:18pm

Denise,

I know exactly how that feels.... thank you for sharing

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