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I've done very little of it, and except for one place that we only went to three times tops, and I always have to set up a picture of Arlene on my phone to get thru it. I have been saying for the last 4 1/2 years that I couldn't see myself eating in our old places (thankfully most have changed hands aren't the same). Today I had this thought that its probably time for me to rip the bandaid off and go to one, or several, depending on how it goes. Just not THIS weekend, Effin V-day. But soon. If I don't chicken out.

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Comment by only1sue on March 8, 2020 at 11:32pm

Don I just went on a cruise, the first since 1967, and as my travelling companion ate with her brother and his wife. I never dined on my own because I decided to put myself down as a "share". I sat at tables for eight or six with people I had never met from all over the globe but mainly Americans and loved it. We engaged in great conversations, learned a little about each other and always found common ground. It was a real eye opening experience for me. It was really the highlight of the cruise and something I had never expected to enjoy.

Comment by OriginalCyn on March 5, 2020 at 4:42am

Valentines Day was a land mine for me..... I was doing fine —- I thought—- then pow. It’s been 4 1/2 years since I lost my Richard—- and V-Day or any holiday really—- has never been important to me. Why this year?

i may need to travel a bit more too. But that has its own quagmire of issues as well?!


Comment by Don on February 28, 2020 at 11:49am


I agree with you about the holiday season. I've been saying ever since Year 1 that it starts on Halloween because thats when all the ThanksgivingChristmas/New Years stuff hits full force and that it really ends for us on stupid V-Day, because we see nothing but stuff for THAT Day in the stores and about a week out we see commercials for what to get that special someone for THAT DAY. Add social media to this with people who still have their person posting pics for a few days. That worse this year because it hit on the Friday before a 3 day weekend. 

Comment by chef (John) on February 28, 2020 at 11:38am

FWIW, Don, I occasionally (like maybe twice per year) go to some of the old places, but (as you said) some of the restaurants we used to frequent have shuttered. I agree with your "Effin' V-day" comment. For me, it marks the end of the gawd-awful holiday season that commences with Halloween.

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on February 15, 2020 at 7:30am

Hi Don, I haven't been to either one of our 2 date night restaurants but I will eat alone in one of the other many regular places around town.  It's different here for me I know because it's a small town and practically everyone knows me and Jerry.  That being said, I often have other "singles" ask to join me, or I'll ask to join them.  It was/is hard for me to sit there looking around at all the familiar folks, who we dined with at the same time, the same restaurant for years.  It's surreal.  It's a social oddity to be eating alone for one thing, so that makes it weird from the get-go, so I just consider myself deputy dog of normalizing the aloneness sit thru whatever discomfort I may or may not feel and when it's over, consider it a victory for widows or just plain ole alone ppl everywhere.   Put your invisible cape on Don, take a book/enjoy ppl watching.  Be the weird guy in the corner booth!  It's absolutely okay because new doesn't have to be bad, different doesn't mean letting go, and growing doesn't mean forgetting.   When you finish licking your plate, you will have your tribe right here, a click, or a phone call away to say atta boy!  Love you buddy!  bon appetite 

Comment by Lisa_says on February 15, 2020 at 6:45am

Hi Don,

I haven't been out to eat in a year and two months since my husband passed away.  I haven't even been able to order food from any of the places my husband and I used to go to. Not one slice of pizza, not one burger and fries.

It's just too hard for me. Those were "our places"

I admire your courage, go for it. I hope you have a good meal and continue to move forward.

In time I hope to find the courage to do the same.

Comment by only1sue on February 14, 2020 at 1:47pm

Don, I began eating out alone when Ray was in the nursing home so that is going on for eight and a half years ago.I went to places I was  familiar with, sat at a table for two facing out into the crowd. I ordered only a main course that was easy to eat but one I wouldnt cook myself so,it was a treat. A couple of times someone I knew came up and say hello and I handled that okay. I found a certain amount of freedom in finding I could do this. I still have a problem walking into something like a wedding reception alone as it is still expected you will have a plus one with you but if you know the family they know your story. Good luck with your debut into the world of going out alone..

Comment by Doug02122014 on February 12, 2020 at 5:41pm


Today I hit 6-years out and I still avoid at all costs "our Walmart".  I  remember my early days on this journey and walking into that store and the Godawful feeling coming over me once inside the store.   I  had no idea that I was walking into a superstore of triggers.   

I admire your courage and wishing you all the best. 

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