A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I have been siting here tonight, and thinking of "emotions" As a baby I guess we learn some emotions, as if we are wet or hungry, we cry and then get changed or fed. Parents do silly things to make us smile and giggle. As we grow through life we learn, happiness, sadness, etc.
We may each learn how to deal with our emotions differently, yet we understand each other,we learn to share happiness, and sadness together. We may not habe 100% understanding of another. As we go through lifes experiences, we learn empathy.. The understanding of Joy of a marriage, birth, the sadness of grief. We can't totally understand how the other person feels, but we can "feel" for them on their journey whether it is sharing joy, or sadness.
How we deal with some of these emotions may come from parents, and mentors in our life. Of course our own reactions play a big part on how we can deal with life.
Some people may have larger immediate emotional support, and some learn to reach out, that it is okay to need help, or a good friend you can talk to and not have to worry about what you say. Thy get it, they understand.
How members in a family can be so different.. my sister has always been a "drama queen" but that is her coping mechnaism. At times she can drive me up a wall...lol. She has always been somewhat of a hyphochondriac. I at times have had to really hold it together to not laugh at her, while trying to give reassurance. ( I am 8 yrs younger)
When my niece is stressed she gets the "giggles" I had to take her outside at my Mom's funeral as she was almost hysterically laughing.
In grief and making real friends with other widows and widowers, we have found a safe place, where we can say things and understand.. many things we would neve be able to say to friends in the "real world" unles it is another widow or widower.
Out of our sorry and heart break, we have come to an Empathy. and on a path to inner peace, to begin over, but we are taking more emotions and lifes lessons. Material possions are not piorities, we had Love, marriages are not perrfect, we have had differences, and dealing with tragic loss, or care giving of our loved one. We have all ended up with broken hearts, the understanding they will always be with us, and we will always love them. We are learning to understnd that many of the "stupid things" said to us, because people are un-comfortable or don't have a clue of what they are saying.
loving, and grief bring out many emotions, many we did not understand oursleves. We grow in how we handle these. and a response at 3 or 6 months, may be totally different at 9 months to a year.
We are learning our own new emotions.. and how we may deal with thdm along with the hard task of re-entering and finding a new :me. a new life.
I find here I can express myself more freely, that Raw, hurting emotions are not "run" from and it is the way to help us learn we are not alone. and we are not crazy... that bit by bit we put ourselves back together and do come out the other side...