Fear. I wish I could say I have no fears. But that would be a lie.
The truth is the things I've always feared the most have already happened.
I remember as a little girl I was so afraid of losing my mom.... and that she would grow old.
Funny, poignant story....
When I was a little girl, safe and secure in a loving home, I used to watch my mom use a facial mask by Merle Norman. It was a pink color and she'd brush it on, let it dry and then wash it off. She said it would keep her young! I was so afraid that she'd get old. Whenever I expressed my fear she'd say, "I'll never get old. I use the pink stuff!" I guess I just believed whatever she said, because my fears would be relieved! I believed her. She was like that... always calmed my fears.
It was just a couple of years ago, my mom and I were talking like we so often did and she said,
"I got old. I know I told you I never would. But I got old."
I said, "but you are still beautiful".... and she was.
How I want to be the same... like her.
It's a joy robber. I lost Edd. One year later I lost my mom.... Not much I feared more than that. And it happened. But I'm still alive. Still able to breathe and smile... and finding my way.
So here's the thing. We do have fears. I guess they are part of living in this crazy, messed up, yet beautiful world. But they can be navigated through. Fought through.
And we can, and should, come along others who fear.... and just tell them, "You'll make it too."
Somehow we will.