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It's close to the end of the summer vacation, some time in the next week all my grandchildren go back to school apart from Chris who will start University at the end of February. All my normal  summer activities start the following week, the more formal church services, pastoral visiting, the Friday Coffee morning. It is decision time for me as I decide whether to continue the activities or change some of them. There is always pressure to continue but in the end it is my choice. It is a harder decision this year as I am more aware of my health issues, principally the fact that the left leg swelling makes rest particularly time with my leg up in the afternoon more essential.

I have had quite a lot of interaction with the grandchildren this time, two weeks with Alice and Trevor staying with me, visits from the Adelaide kids and my daughter and her two staying with me last weekend. It was interesting watching the various groupings as they tried to find games they could play together. My lounge room furniture was pushed aside to give them more room for the more active games on the Nintendo Wii. I love to hear the happy laughter and the noisy interactions as they play siblings versus cousins. Shirley and Pam managed some long chats together which was good, I hope they're friends when I am gone.

I have lined up my medical tests and ultrasounds etc for  the second week in February. Most can be done locally this time. It means I can get to them all by myself. I like to be as independent as possible. I do need my daughter to come with me to the two specialist appointments, a second pair of ears to absorb details is a good thing. Hopefully there will be no new changes and I can go on enjoying life. That is my intention for this year and so far that has been happening. Not that that means all is wonderful, just that I want to put a positive spin on things.

Two lots of bad news yesterday, both to do with friends with cancer. I have so many people my age and younger that are suddenly being diagnosed with cancers of various kinds. I am back to hospital visiting and a good long term friend has just moved into a nursing home for the last part of her journey, the same one Ray was in. I have a lot of mixed emotions when I visit there but I have to remember it is not about me and my hangups,  it is about bringing them comfort through companionship. You'd think I'd be used to it now but each case is different. As different as our personalities.

The humidity is still very high so the gardening and heavy outside work is on hold. Too humid even in the late afternoon to do more than half an hour of weeding or moving plants. I keep up with the household chores but very little else. There is a long list of jobs that need doing but that will have to wait. Downsizing and decluttering also need to be thought about again. I did suggest to both my adult children that they could help out by taking some of it  back to  their own homes as it was theirs originally but that did not work. So it is still a work in progress.

Plans for the future? Possibly once I get past the two specialists visits and have the rresults of the cancer tests in February and the neurosurgeon's report in March I will look at making more local travel plans. Part of my enjoying life is about catching up with old friends so travelling to see them particularly the older ones who no longer travel is part of the plan. I wish I had a companion to travel with but so far that has not happened. However I may have found someone to go out with occasionally so there may be more news to come on that front.

Life is just life, not good, not bad, just a series of days to get through and hopefully to get some pleasure out of.  I know that will become more difficult as I age but I have always had older friends and they have been a wonderful example to me of how to live life to the full. I just hope I have their graciousness, patience and courage.

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Comment by laurajay on January 23, 2019 at 9:46pm

Sue.  I  enjoy  your  writing  through  the years  as  we continue  this journey.   Doesn't   seem as  if you are  halfway   across the  earth...so many changes  we are going  through  and  your  upbeat  outlook  is  always  welcome  for me.   I hope   your  tests  are such that   you can continue your  good works.   Godspeed  in all  you do.   Were  you  closer  I would  so   enjoy   sharing tea  with you.    hugs     lj

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