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I guess my up-coming surgery (carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand).. so quite minor and I will be glad to have it done. Had the right one the end of May. My daughter & her husband were still living here. This time my 19 yr old grandson will be here. The surgery will be on a Friday morning.
Molly (my 15 yr old miniature pinscher has developed a heart condition,, controlled by medications, she has also become blind and is adapting well. She can't go down the porch stairs on her own. so I carry her down, she can get up the stairs and in the house on her own. I have set some out door porch mats for guiding her and try not to change things around. I am not sure after surgery if I will be able to carry her down the stairs. I cleared off the deck and went to Home Depot and bought a piece of cheap astro turf. I put it down today and took her out.. and she used it. So all I have to do is hose it off. I have tried to block some things on the deck and she is getting the lay out. I have a rough sisal type mat at the top of the stairs.so she knows where they are, I have a black mat with the "plastic blue grass in the front of the door, so she knows where the opening to the door is by the feel of the mat.
Next week I will be picking up some frozen meals, and things easy to cook. My 19 yr old grandson will be home on Saturday and Sunday to help some, but he is 19..lol and in his room 95% of the time with his TV and video games.
I do get my medications with easy open caps. Trying to figure out as much as I can do without help as much as possible. Thinking of the dogs needs.
The surgery is minor, but will be sore and hand weaker for a few weeks. Missing all the little things John would have done and helped me with.
I had a stroke 9 yrs ago, and was paralyzed on left for a short time, So have done things one handed before. Will try this week to fix some things ahead and freeze so I can pop in the oven. and pick up a few frozen meals.
I do know what to expect, so just trying to make sure things are organized and in place.
For 20 years we were there for each other... so miss the special, caring "little" things we did for each other.
I have even found some disposable "cast " covers I can slip on to shower.
I hate "nagging" and will only ask once or twice for something to get done..
I do have some friends I can call on if needed. A friend is going to bring me home from the hospital, and then grandson will drive me in on Saturday so I can bring my car home.
This really "sucks" not the surgery, I know I will be fine and will manage. guess I am just missing the "little" sharing and thoughtful things, that a partner understands.
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Comment by carolynne on October 22, 2012 at 1:10pm -
(((Bonnie))) So sorry that you must go through this without John. Wishing you a successful surgery and quick healing. I'm impressed with your foresight and all the preparations you're tackling, quite ingenious the plan you've devised for Molly!! Not sure where you are, if you're anywhere near Madison, WI call me if you need help!!
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Comment by Suz on October 22, 2012 at 12:53am -
Chez,
You, too? I am so sorry! As some one who had dealt with a handful of surgeries, I hope you will get a notebook and write down anyone who offers to do anything. Let it be known in any organization you are in...church, kid's schools...that you are going through surgery and you are concerned about getting food on the table, etc.
Say it nice, but say it. Then you can fill in any gaps yourself. I was surprised how much people wanted to help. If you have a close friend, put her in charge of the program. I was shocked how much help I got once I started telling people that I needed help.
Big hugs,
Suz
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Comment by Lisa ( Marielee) on October 21, 2012 at 11:48pm
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Bonnie & Chez (((HUGS))) so sorry friends you have to go these surgery's alone. Bonnie, very smart of you to put some things in place before hand. Sending you both prayers for a speedy healing and minimal pain . Wish I was closer to both of you to help :( a little bit impossible for that - I know - Blessings , Lisa
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Comment by Blue Snow on October 21, 2012 at 10:45pm -
Hope all goes well, Bonnie. At least you'll know what to expect and have done what you needed to do to prepare and what the recovery will be like. I know what you mean about times like this makes you miss John all the more. Couples do so much for one another and we hardly notice until it's gone... {{{hugs}}}
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Comment by Suz on October 21, 2012 at 4:30pm
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Oh, gosh, Bonnie. It does suck. I really admire the things that you are doing to cope. You are being so clever about your dog! I do understand about the special things that a spouse will do. Even during the months that Jud had cancer, he was still doing those things until the very last couple of months. I missed that so much. I also miss doing those things for him.
I have a different kind of problem with chronic pain and I have had to call neighbors three times since Jud died. I supposed in eight months, that is not a terrible thing but it is something I do not like to do. Usually the problem is getting the dogs downstairs at the end of the day when I am having a bad flare.
Sometimes our friends like to help, too. That is hard, too, but I do think it makes them feel good. I just try not to make it too much!!!
My caring,
Suz
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Comment by hendrixx2 on October 21, 2012 at 4:14pm -
Hi Bonnie,
Yes it is always those ''little things'' which appear to magnify our sense of loss and really point out to us just how much of a ''we'', our lives really were. You are displaying the foresight and planning which is really necessary for us to move forward at all. Know that both you and Chez are in my prayers, and that my wish is that these things you both must do will result in a solid recovery ... Peace
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Comment by Lori on October 21, 2012 at 4:10pm -
((((bonnie)))) it you need me call, that's what friends are for
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Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on October 21, 2012 at 2:19pm -
Thanks Everyone. Best wishes to you to (((((((((Chez))))))))) just trying to "think ahead" and we all know the "wido brain" Yes hopefully Bill will be "thoughtful" he was always the Big kid in class, taking and playing with the disabled neighbor boy. He was around 9 or 10 when I had the stroke, and he was protective of me when we went out.. we went to a street fair, and he made sure I wasn't bumped and got up & down curbs.LOL
Thanks again for all your warm wishes... love you all
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Comment by Dianne in Nevada on October 21, 2012 at 12:09pm -
I hope your friends step up without you needing to call them ... and may your grandson surprise you with more attentiveness than expected. I agree that being alone during these life issues just emphasizes all we've lost. And, yes, it does suck. May both you and chez be surrounded by loving care as your recover from your surgeries.
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Comment by North54 on October 21, 2012 at 10:54am -
((((Bonnie)))) and (((((chez2all)))) it is so scarey without them. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.
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