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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

There was an amazing fundraiser for a derby girl this past weekend.  

A lot of my derby girls were there -either in a skater or a official capacity. 

The whole thing was to raise money for a derby girl who contracted a virus, ended up in ICU and lost a leg, and some fingers.   Her house needed to be retrofitted. 

I wanted to go. I normally would have moved mountains to go. 

I couldn't.   I couldn't because she SURVIVED and I didn't know if I'd be able to handle being there, watching everyone cheering for her and excited for her and her life. 

I don't wish her death.   I am happy for that family that they aren't going to deal with what I am going through. 

But she survived.  And Mark didn't.  And I am hurting because of that.   

I wish, with all my heart I could have supported them.  I"ll donate some money to the cause, but I couldn't handle being there and being there alone... it would have killed me. 

Why?  Why coudn't he have survived?  Why couldn't he have beaten the odds? 

Anyone who wants to donate:  this is the event that happened.   I'm going to put some money into it...and send her a "I'm happy for your family" card. 

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Comment by telechick on January 23, 2013 at 3:30am

there's a series of ads on tv for a local hospital  here that say "Joe Brown, born August 25th, 1957.  didn't die, June 7th, 2011" and all I can ever think of is "why did Corey die and Joe Brown didn't?" It drives me nuts. Not that Joe Brown deserved to die, but then again Corey didn't either.  ((hugs))

Comment by Pat on January 22, 2013 at 8:30pm

It's just too soon for you to deal with this - you are doing the best you can.  You are still helping and it will mean a great deal.  I, too, have wanted to be there for hurting others and can't quite pull it off yet.  Fortunately WV and friends help me to understand that time is needed.  One never knows how much.

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