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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Today one year ago was Sandy's funeral. The last time I was able to tuck her in to rest peacefully forever. Sandy always went to bed well before I did most nights and I would frequently come up to bed and have to remove her glasses and tuck her in as she would fall asleep reading or watching tv. So one year ago today when I tucked her in and covered her up in the casket is a memory I will never forget. Don't get me wrong it was tough then and also thinking about it now, but am grateful I was the one to do it for her as I had done many previous nights.

I had not thought as much about this day in advance as I did many of the other 1st's or 1st anniversaries. Nor did I expect this day to be as tough as some of the others until this morning. Mind you it was not the 1st thing that popped into my mind this morning even though I knew the date. I later found myself emotional and I was not sure why at that moment until I thought about it and all those memories came rushing back both good and sad. One of the better memories was the eulogy my eldest son (30) gave. He spoke of funny memories growing up, the loving memories, how Sandy was a loving wife, Mom and friend to all. The last words of his speech were "Damn I wish I would have spent just a little more time with her just doing anything". I was so proud of him and know his Mom was too that day.

My Sandy Beach you will be forever missed but your memory will live forever!!!

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Comment by Steve on July 30, 2017 at 9:06am
Hi Steve, thanks for sharing your thoughts here. Its such a tough process, I know I always get so caught up between the tremendous gratitude I feel for having had such a wonderful love, person in my life, for 31 yrs, and the intense pain of facing life, now without them. Its now been over 8 years and it has gotten easier, but curtain anniversaries still burn strong, both in gratitude and pain.
Hugs
Steve
Comment by Callie2 on July 29, 2017 at 7:46pm
These days can affect us even when we try to put them in the back of our mind. I remember dreading holidays and other special days but got through them okay. Other times, like the anniversary of our first date and even passing by places that evoked certain memories, bothered me a whole lot more.

I am sorry for the loss of your beloved wife. In time, the pleasant memories will help replace the sad ones. Grief is a process and dealing with these feeling is an important part of healing. May true peace find you soon.

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