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Food For Thought - It Is Possible

No matter how great our marriages were.
No matter how great our love was.
No matter how ideally matched we were with our departed spouses...

It is possible that we can find new loves and things can be even better. I hope I'm right. I hope it will be true for me. I feel that I am a better person for many different reasons.

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Comment by my roses on December 1, 2013 at 8:57am

My roses 1st December

 Professor Ben-Ze'ev is considered one of the world's leading experts in the study of emotions, and he set up the Interdisciplinary Center for the Study of Emotions at the University. His research focuses on the philosophy of psychology, and especially the study of emotions. Most recently, his research has centered on love and romantic compromises.

Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D., is Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa and former President of the University (2004 – 2012)

Love After Death: The Widows’ Romantic Predicaments

All of us have romantic predicaments; widows (and widowers) seem to have even more. Should they actively search for another lover? And if they find another lover, while still loving their late spouse, how can these two lovers reside together in their hearts? For widows, is loving again worth the effort of having to adjust to another person? And is widowhood the proper time to fall in love again?

Read  more at this link predicaments



Aaron added this song to his article. I played it and how Mariah sings.

What a powerful expression of  the pain of loss of  love.

Song by Mariah Carey


Comment by MsKris12 on November 25, 2013 at 12:09pm

Each love we experience meets our needs and desires at the time that love enters our lives.  It is amazing how it happens and when it happens.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other!

Comment by Morgana (Janet) on November 25, 2013 at 5:29am

Each relationship is different than the one before therefore the love we feel for another is going to be different  We are not the same person we were when our spouse was alive.  We learn what is important and what isn't, learn the true value of life, appreciate the simplest of things and we grow.

Wishing you the best Mac as you move forward in this journey.

Comment by bamamike on November 24, 2013 at 11:32pm

 Until the birth of our first grandchild I hadn't thought too much about the human heart and love. If anyone had asked, I would have told them that, with the love I felt for my wife and children, my heart was full. But, with the birth of our first grandchild, I suddenly felt this immense love for another human that was not my wife or child. It felt awesome and caught me somewhat off guard. It was as if another part of my heart, that I had not known existed, had opened up. I had to think about it for a while before I settled on a conclusion.  I like to think of the human heart as being compartmentalized. Throughout life we love. We love our parents, our siblings, our spouse, our children, our friends, etc. and each one occupies a special section or compartment in our hearts. We dwell in all of these compartments at the same time. That is to say we are capable and do love all of these people at the same time though with a different intensity. The intensity of the love we feel for each varies dependent on the relationship we have with each. For example we normally love our spouse more, or with a greater intensity, than we love our friends. 

I feel that, when we are ready and if it be our desire, we will find new love. A part of our heart that we never knew existed will open up and a new love will enter. Though the intensity of that love will be different than the love we feel for our departed spouse's it will, as Liz said previously, "ideally match our new situation" and our love for our departed spouse's will not be diminished or forgotten. 

Comment by eliana on November 24, 2013 at 5:18pm

I have read that from great losses and painful endings can come unimaginable gifts and wonderful beginnings.  I think that can be true.  My life with my husband was most definitely an unimaginable gift.  This journey of grief is a growing process in many ways.  I honor him by continuing to live a life that he would want to share with me ... and I really feel I am becoming the person he always thought I was.

For those who are seeking new love, I think you are absolutely right.  I am not seeking new love, but I am grateful to be moving forward and finding much joy in the lovely people and beautiful experiences on my journey.

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