I miss you, Punkin... terribly. I've decided to shut the world out, with the exception of the kids, for the weekend. These past 17 days have been the hardest and most painful of my life. I'm cooking your peanut's favorite today. STEAK! Lol.

She's hoping I cook it like you and I hope I'm able to do it justice. Let's not forget the green beans. Wish me luck on those. These kids keep me going. No one else seems to understand. They try, but they can't begin to understand how I feel. Hell, I don't even know how I feel. I wish you hadn't left me. I miss our bubble of safety, just us two. The kids keep watching me. They all check on me if I stay gone out of the room too long. I tend to hide out in the closet and cry into your clothes to muffle the sounds. This is hard. I hate waking up to a world that you're no longer in.