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….that is the title of a well known grief support seminar series.  A well thought out, well researched, well constructed and, most of all, well intentioned series of videos.

 

    From Mourning to Joy…..

 

    Ka -ka…absolute ka-ka.

 

    Joy?

 

    Sharon was joy.

 

    She was joy in the constant, loving manner she cared about others. Whether she knew them or not!!  Near or far from her. Sharon reached out and helped in whatever way she could.

 

      She was joy in the way she constantly appreciated God’s Creation.  In the heat of summer as she tossed a stone upon a glassy lake surface and watched the ripples move out in concentric circles.  In the increasing chill of autumn as she stooped down to pick up a multi-colored leaf and turn and examine it from all sides.  In the dead of the winter, as she made angels (she was one, you know!!) in the snowy front yard. And, of course, in the spring as she delighted several times a day in studying  the beginning blooms of daffodils, tulips and other newly flowering flora.

 

      She was joy in the way she zealously read His Word, going over a passage several time in one sitting. Reading the footnotes and other exegesis she could find on the Word.  Then, sharing what she had read with others in a  delighted, child like exuberance which underscored the deep sincerity of her faith.

 

      She was joy in her daily scouring of the newspaper , item by item, to discover sales, art gallery shows, music events and historic places to visit.   Then she would make all the arrangements if any were needed to attend and just “announce”…”Hey, sweetheart!! Guess what we are going to do?”

 

       She was joy when she swam.. Many, many laps were her almost daily routine as she tried to fight off the effects of osteoporosis which was making her bones  waste away.

 

        And so I could go on.  Biking, hiking, singing in the praise band, reading, painting, crafts and calligraphy.

 

        So many gifts from God.  But then, He called her Home.  And I am still here but, you see, she took the joy with her!! Yes, she did.  And all the grief “counseling” there is or ever will be can not bring that back!!

 

       Maybe the seminar title should have been ”From Mourning to Acceptance” or “From Mourning to Less Gut Wrenching Pain” or “From Mourning to a Dull Ache”

 

         I don’t know.  I’ll try and think up some more possibilities.  After all, I have all this time now. Don’t I ?

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Comment by Lifeunknown17 on August 7, 2018 at 8:06pm

KA ka......LOL.  

Marty, i too 100% agree with what you say at the end.  And oh....your wife was an angle too.  cause i'm sure mine was. :)  that's figgin awesome.  it doesn't help make the pain go away really.  but it does bring a smile, knowing i was married to a angle.  If you were also, then you'd likely agree, the shoes they left behind are massive and unfillable.   seriously, i was married to a dang super model, that liked everything i did.  and put up with everything i didnt do. lol.  never will there be another.  

Comment by MartyG (ver. 2.1) on June 10, 2018 at 8:19am

I totally agree!! Both I (and Sharon) have always felt that our lives belonged to God.  My fraternity's motto was "The gift is life, the responsibility is living".

I do not fear the fate, either here in this world and certainly not in the next.

My blog post was just to express my grief...which will be ongoing until I die and see my Lord (and Sharon and other saints down thru the ages), 

It may lessen but my grief is in a way is a testimony to the person she was here with me, my partner, my best friend and my "angel."

Thank you, Misty, for your friendship. Your life is far more difficult than mine and I admire you for the type of person that you are.  ((Hugs))

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on June 10, 2018 at 7:28am

Marty, this is how I translate that verse:  (what it says to my heart)  We all interpret things differently and that's okay too, I just wanted to throw it out there.

."So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Me:  Don't worry, don't despair, if you have faith I will give you strength and I will see you through anything, I will not fail you.  To me, that verse says anything that is troubling to you will be wiped away in time if you let God take care of it... 
I don't think God can take away the fact that I miss Jerry, (unless I get amnesia) but he has given me and you the strength to get up and get through each day because here we are. :) I give praise for that daily.  I'm not worried about how I'm going to manage the rest of my left without him, God's job is to worry about that not mine.  I just do today. 

We all wallow, I do too.  It might be for a few minutes or it might be for days on end.   I know, that feeling sorry for one's self is helpful for some but for me it's counterproductive.  I try to avoid it.  

Comment by MartyG (ver. 2.1) on June 9, 2018 at 7:35am

Yes, Misty......"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10  I don't think it is fear, per se, since I know my ultimate destination.  And theft that I will see her again, both in the immediate Heaven and the New Jerusalem when we all will have resurrected and glorified bodies, imperishable.   It is getting from here to there in a manner that justifies my continued earthly existence and would be a memorial to Sharon.  Doing chores, reading His Word and trying to serve others  Volunteering at Brethren Village is a small step i that latter direction, and in August beginning the process of Hospice volunteering. Thanks agian, Misty, for caring about me when you, yourself, have so much to deal with. I will take your advice about "dissecting my grief" but I actually am still in the "wallowing stage" i fear....lol.  I admire you...I have little baggage to carry on this journey we all are on here inWV....and you have s big wheel barrow tops!! God Bless.....  

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on June 9, 2018 at 5:36am

OH, Marty, I wish I could hug you!

I have been right there in those thoughts, I feel them creeping up on me and remind myself very often that the devil is a lie.  I know you are a man of faith so look for enlightenment in Isiah.  My favorite is 41:10.  I believe that with all of my heart.  When I feel overwhelmed I pray until that feeling is gone.  (as often as it takes)  Early on it was pretty darn constant, just like He says, pray without ceasing.  

I mentioned to you before, I found this whole ordeal easier to digest by making a mental flow sheet if you will and dissecting every little thing about my grief and examining what I could do about each aspect on its own.  It also helps you pinpoint what exactly to ask God for, as you know He appreciates specifics, (otherwise be careful what you ask for) :).


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