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If you live on the coast, there are certain precaustions you have to take for hurricane season. Those of you who live on the west coast have to prepare somewhat for earthquakes. Here in the southeast we have to be ready for tornado season.
And those of us who have lost our beloved sometimes know ahead of time there will be days that will shake us to the core. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays whatever. Most of the time its seems to be just us crying with those around us rolling their eyes wanting to change the subject or avoiding us altogether.
But every now and then everybodys crying.
I'm afraid May 27th is going to be just such a day.
I met Amanda (had our first conversation) on May 30, 2007. Her niece Emma had just been born (May 27th) and she was telling mutual friends about it with me standing there. I laughed and told her my niece Payton had a birthday the next day. Those with us walked off while we talked about babies and family. That was the first night we ever spoke to each other. She was dating someone else then and I told my friends if that dude messes up and losses her, I'm going after her. There is something special about her.
And he did (mess up), and I did (went after her) and I was right (something very special).
She was always giving especially to her nieces and little cousins. Her every waking thought was what can I make or order for the girls, especially Emma. Emma was 9 months old when Amanda and I started dating, so in her little young life Aunt Mandie and Uncle Lady (she had a hard time saying Uncle Larry at first) have always been there for her birthday.
But not this year. I'm starting to get chocked up just writing this.
it will only be Samuel and Uncle Lady this time. No Aunt Mandie. And I don't think I'm going to be the only one crying about it. Emma will be five and she still occasionally says where's Aunt Mandie? Where's Aunt Mandie? Amanda always made such a big deal of Emmas birthday, and I just know there is going to be a huge emptiness this year.
Emmas birthday is not just Emmas birthday. It's a childs birthday buts its also a family reunion. Amandas parents are divorced (each remarried) and it's one of the few times they will come around each other. It's the first get together of the summer, ussually the first time we all get in the pool. And as I said, its the anniversary of us meeting. Truth be told, its the anniversary of me falling for her.
So, I'm preparing myself. I'm locking the cabinets so stuff doesnt shake out, boarding up the windows so the glass wont shatter and I'm find that hiding place on the inside for when the bad stuff drops down on top of us. Cause it's coming. Christmas was bad and I'm afraid this will be too.
I really miss her. I really do. Be thinking about us on Memorial Day weekend. For us is gonna be more of a Memorial day than it ever was before.