From the day B passed away, I knew I was goinig to get a tattoo for him.
When we first started talking, I asked him how he felt about dating a girl that had no body piercings or tattoos, he simply replied "I want to take that virginity " Today he did just that.
Over the past few weeks a lot of design ideas crossed my mind. I wanted to get the word "Promise" in his hand writing on my pinky. After "searching" I could not find the word, in the hand writing i came to know and love. So, I gave up on that idea.
Fast forward about a week. I needed to switch out my purse and found a note from Blaine that I had forgotten about. Was one of the times that he wrote "I love you" . I immediately thought, this is it. This is what I need. I milled it over and thought. Yup.. this is it.
The night before I was supposed to get it, we got something in the mail that rocked me to the core. I considered not getting it at all. Thinking that maybe my love had a life that I was unaware of. Thinking of him in such a way HURT. He was the light of my life. He made any dark dreary day worth living.
After his passing I have thought often about following him, because I wish to be with him. I am also a recovering self mutilator. I thought that if I got this tattoo, in this place, any time I was triggered to do something stupid, Id see his love for me and I would think twice. I need to live, for him.
While in the parlor, talking to the artist about life, a song came on. No we were listening to white guy stoner rap, when Itty bitty pretty one by Frankie Lymon came on. No one could have guessed that song was a song B said made him think of me. No one would have known that.. It was absolutely incredible.. Felt like B was telling me he loved me. It was hard not to cry a little.