A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
My emotions are too much for me to handle. Family is not understanding me not wanting to live...(I dont want to kill myself I just dont want to live). I dont know if this scares them so much that they flip. They all seem to think therapy is not the answer. I know its not normal that I dont care about anything...for me anyway. I dont care if I eat, I dont care if I dont eat, I dont care if I sleep or not, dont care about work. The only thought that resinates in my mind is that of my loves last few breaths, his being on life support, can he hear me, can he feel me...that what I think ALL THE TIME it seems. I know that this is not normal. They dont want me to be alone. I cant seem to make them understand that I can handle being alone, I cant handle my husband not being there. Ive always been ok being alone. I dont want to stay with them, this is my home. I dont need to leave, I just need to figure out how to not be so ambevilant about it all. I just miss my hubby so much that I cant think of being alive and living without him. Again Im not interested in hurting myself. I cant think of how much it would hurt my family and friends. I dont mistreat myself, I get up every morning, I feed the dogs, I feed the fish, I go to work, I come home, I go to church, I wash my car cause I dont like it being dirty, I do everything that I know I should be doing. I just cant get myself to give a shit about it. I dont want to be this way so Im going for help. Its not a bad thing, Im not betraying anyone, I just dont know how or what else to feel and do.