Well today is the day after Christmas, this was my first Christmas without my husband. I was fortunate to have family around however I feel like I am going backwards. My husband passed May 2, 2017 after a short 5 month battle with Stage IV Kidney Cancer. I have really good days and I guess the down fall is the bad days that come up from time to time. Tomorrow 12/28/2016 would have been 1 year ago ; he had the surgery to remove his right Kidney, piece of his bladder and ureter. This was the most painful surgery he I have seen him have which included a 4 1/2 day stay in the hospital which included his birthday. I regret our decision to have this surgery as I don't think it extended his life and just left him with a long road of recovery only to pass away 5 months later. I truly wish we could have spent his last birthday in a happier place and him without pain.
I made it through Christmas eve dinner and Christmas day dinner with just a few tears. Now the well has broken. I couldn't cry around the grandkids not fair to them. I can't write everything I feel on FB as my grandkids have FB as well. I know people here will understand the pain. I was doing so well and now I feel like I am going backwards. I miss him so much. I will always love you Jack and miss you so much.