Today would have been our 11th Anniversary. I've been dreading this day all month. My emotions have been all over the place. The incredible sadness followed by the bittersweet joy of memories. The guilt.of...what ~ I'm not sure. The Love that still lingers... If I had know our times would be our last..I would have hugged them a little tighter..Loved them so much longer. This is my 3rd Anniversary without him. I like to think I'm making incredible progress being on my own. But my steps forward are short. I miss him..with a longing in my heart that I feel from top to bottom. I ask myself will it ever go away? The incredible feeling of loss? Probably not..but I will learn to live with it as a small deep ache that pokes me every now and then instead of washing over me in waves. I hope to love again. That terrifies me..that getting to know someone on that level again. But I do...Life is meant to Lived and Loved. I will hold my Love for my Lost One like a badge of Honor.. as I carry on and Live.