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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Tomorrow is my birthday. It's also B's birthday. I'm turning 35. He would be 41. It was weird sharing my birthday with my husband. It's even more strange sharing it with my dead husband. I was hesitant to celebrate but decided to have a small gathering of close friends last night for dinner. It turned out to be a really fun night but today I feel overwhelmed with sadness. I don't know what the hell I'm doing with myself. I keep feeling like life has played some cruel joke on me. It will be one year soon and I still have moments of "how the hell did this happen?!" I wish he would hold for a little while and tell me that everything is going to okay.

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Comment by Dave55 on September 30, 2014 at 8:35am

Hugs Tracy, funny how it works that way.  We got a raw deal and we know we can't go back.  I wish the same that we could hold and talk once more.  For me at least and maybe for you I have to believe our loved ones would not want us to stay sad, which can also be so hard to bear.  These words may not help but at least you know there are others on the journey with you.

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