MY ROSES 23 October 2013
Have you found some special card, note, or other item from your beloved, something that made a difference. That you did not know was there or had forgotten about and you found it perhaps when clearing out a cupboard?
As I have done some clearing in my husband's office there are notes in his filing cabinet, things that were going through his mind. These gave insight into what he felt about himself and what he wanted to do... but had not achieved yet. I also found a beautiful little "baby" book which was filled out by his mother. Giving details of his birth weight, when he walked and talked, and how he learnt to walk and talk very quickly. There were notes and photos about his grandparents and some genealogical charts about two strands of his family. Later I also found our wedding DVD which in all my grief I had forgotten about in a box. It was the best thing I did - playing it brought tears but also I heard his voice and watched him walking and talking. The beautiful words of love that he said had grown and grown into a Great Love. I had also given him two large gold hand -painted boxes which I did when we first met. He had been very surprised. (See boxes on my photo page). But recently, I realised that they are full to the brim with love letters, anniversary and christmas cards, and special little loving notes and photos. Letters with decisions to travel together, and expressions so early on in our meeting about our love being on many levels. Also so precious and different to our previous marrriages of 25 yrs. Most of all these are not precious memories of two mature aged people looking back on their life. I am living that love, passion and emotion still.... as if he were here. So when the usual "widow' comment comes along - Well you are lucky you have these memories of the past" I can shout NO.... THEY ARE NOT IN THE PAST. They are alive and well inside me now. If he stood in front of me now I would say and do all those romantic and passionate things in the same way as before. BECAUSE LOVE NEVER DIES. My heart, soul and mind have not aged at all. They contain these treasures perfectly because they are immortal. Quote from a letter" Wes, I will hold you in my arms as often as you wish to be held, I am always at home in yours." Another letter "I am willing to risk this because if I was lost tomorrow, you would never know that I loved you and in what way."
So hope all of us out there have or will find those special items that you did not know about but which will give you joy when they are found.