This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Highly Sensitive Person - navigation without you

I know I never heard of this term or came to the realization that I was “different“ in having this trait until after you were gone, but somehow it seems such a weight to carry without you. 

It is worse as I get older, but I suppose that is not unusual. The loud noises, bright lights, crowds, and so much information coming from all directions. Sometimes it all overwhelms me.

Yesterday was our grandson’s 11th birthday, which I can hardly believe such time has passed. He enjoyed himself, which I’m so glad. Me, I had to go straight to bed after the festivities. My head was so overstimulated it hurt. I hate being this way, but I couldn’t wait for the company to leave. 

There are things I would love to do, travel to places I would love to see, but I have to carefully measure if I can tolerate what I would encounter. That gets old. It all seems so much easier with someone on your arm that can easily take the lead when a breather is needed.

Anyway, I’m 75% recharged this morning, which isn’t bad. It’s wonderful how down time is a regenerator.

Grieving you would be enough, but finding who I am and how to best live while being true to myself as an HSP, is a real bear. 

Views: 69


You need to be a member of Widowed Village to add comments!

Join Widowed Village

Comment by Callie2 on July 29, 2020 at 8:46am

Tess, there are or can be other reasons for these types of sensitivities so you may not be as alone as you think.  Fibromyalgia can be another reason that is a syndrome with many symptoms. Adding many other things to your list, including smells, that can set me off.  For the longest time, perfumes, aftershaves an colognes used to drive me crazy.  I always searched for fragrance-free personal items and even laundry soaps. Fortunately, I have been able to overcome some of that since I retired. My work situation exposed me to many types of chemicals.

Im not current on a lot of the new info regarding FMS but what I have read in the past is that things like noise and bright light (and others) can be perceived as pain in our brains, our wires are very crossed!  So I do understand the sensitivities thing.  It can make your head spin as you are desperate to get away from what’s bothering you.  While I was grieving, years ago, these sensitivities meshed with the anxieties and made things worse I believe.  The good part is that you do understand that you have this problem and can try to avoid situations that cause this type of stress or at least, try to limit your exposure. It may be that as you pass through grieving, those triggers might not seem as sensitive and you may be able to deal with them a little easier.  Hope so.

Comment by Tess on July 20, 2020 at 4:30pm

Well, you are in good company. More people than I would have guessed identify as HSPs. After I read her book, I flew to Massachusetts to a retreat center to hear Elaine Aron speak. Quite an experience to meet others like me. I’m still in touch with one woman I met.  

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on July 20, 2020 at 12:57pm

It IS a real bear ... but it's also a gift that you are recognizing who you are and what you need in order to live your life now.

Thank you for the reminder that I wanted to look up 'HSP' after you mentioned it during one of our Widowed Village Zoom calls. I took the self-test. Yep, that's me.

© 2020   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service