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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Let's see... I am 4 years, 10 months out and this will be my 5th Christmas/5th New year without my beloved Husband of 27 years upto when he passed, but 32 years to date. 

I find the winter holidays irritating now, sorry to say it, but without my Hubby, things irritate me, and the holidays do this to me even more so. Yes, i realize the meaning of Xmas, a time for peace and joy. And I am blessed with having my 2 Grandsons close by, ages 9 and barely 9. But ...... The togetherness of "happy" couples all around me irritates me big time this time of year.

Is it bitterness? Is it jealousy? Is it loneliness? Is it feeling left out? Is it lack of happiness? Is it the void I carry around? I don't care what you call it,  one or all of the above!  I am 54 years old now and gimme a break but I can't fake "happy" and can't force it either. Yes, I count my blessings! I love my 2 grown children and my 2 Grandsons!

I find myself becoming more cynical. I try not to nurture it. My cynical beast. 

Anyway, Facebook, aarrrrgh, i find it irritating filled with pictures of my friends and their spouses. 

I anguish over what I had and lost. I miss my other half.

But I will put my head up, look the other way, and with irritability,  will move on somehow.....

Here's hoping we all have peace and joy!

Happy Holidays!

simply liz

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Comment by Phyllis on January 25, 2016 at 4:37am

I love your comment about Facebook.  I too get very irritated when I see people who "hog" the space (even though I know that is not possible) with picture after picture of family, spouse, etc.  I just stopped looking.  Not easy but doable. But when I saw the picture of our best friends just standing there smiling at each other, it was too much, remembering the fun we used to have with them and now I hardly see them at all since Don died 3 1/2 years ago.  I'm glad the holidays are over too.

Comment by Sad One on December 29, 2015 at 12:09pm

Hi Marsha, (oceangirl), thank you for that, you made me smile! I am so glad the holidays are almost over. I know the new year eve&day will be hard for me, and likely all here, it always weighs heavy on me now with Hubby not here with. 

Comment by oceangirl on December 28, 2015 at 3:12pm

Sad One - nope, you're not the only one. Seven years for me, and although the holidays (any holiday) have gotten...easier? a little less painful?....still - I hate it, but I can't help being affected by the media bombardment, as well as the happy-happy joy-joy FB CRAP. It makes me want to stick a fork in my head.  I join you in your cynical-ness! Marsha

Comment by Callie2 on December 26, 2015 at 6:38am
You're never alone here. We share a common bond but in some cases, the path may be a little different. Wishing you peace this holiday season.
Comment by Sad One on December 25, 2015 at 11:47pm

Hi Callie2, .. grief process? No I do not think so.  I was venting in my blog, [email protected],  I think some would perhaps relate, but maybe I am alone in this. But that's ok too.  Thank you for your concern. Merry Christmas!

Comment by Callie2 on December 24, 2015 at 8:36pm
It's not easy creating a new life for ourselves but I think it is what we have to do sometimes. Do you think maybe you are still in the grief process? Accepting your loss is letting go of the past (not forgetting it) Our lives will never be the same but it isn't over yet. We can be happy. We have to believe that. I hope 2016 is a new beginning for you!

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