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hi, this is my first post, my beautiful wife Tamara died October 28th, she just turned 57. We were married for 30 years and now she’s gone. I thought I was prepared because stage 4mbc is not curable. She battled so hard, we both battled so hard, but nothing can prepare you for this....the one person that I could talk to about everything, including this, I can’t talk to (I talk to her still) it’s just a one sided conversation now. I titled this post “how”.  How do I navigate? Just when I think I got this , I lose it. If anyone reads this, thanks. I just need to vent

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Comment by Starfish5 on January 5, 2019 at 5:21am

I feel your pain so acutely as this is the very same thing I am still reeling from. We were best friends, did everything together and so on. Often I wonder how much can a person - a soul left here to deal with this everyday searing pain stemming from this loss - deal with? I know I will feel this way a long time. I hurt just as badly now as then = 15 months ago when my husband passed away. Yes you learn to cope day-to-day, but this does not address how to 'go on with life' or how to navigate anything from here on out. No matter how much we may have mentally prepared for this loss, it doesn't help now that we are left alone.  On top of everything, other people you thought were close friends turn out not to be!  I never thought or even had a clue about any of this. A painful life indeed.

Comment by Rainy (Misty) on January 2, 2019 at 12:39pm

Hi Tamsknight, it's certainly okay to vent anytime you need too.  We all here understand.  You're right, nothing can prepare you for the avalanche of emotions you're going through or the ones that haven't hit you yet.  

How to navigate?  I feel like we each eventually find our own way.  My sweet Jerry has been gone for a little over a year now, I still don't have it together but, it's better than it has been.  I sort of stopped thinking about the big picture now, I just think in terms of getting through daily.  I actually don't think that much ahead, I've found that is something that triggers me.  

If you ever need a friendly voice of reason, or just someone to understand you don't hesitate to post in the forums or come into chat.  Someone will always "hold" your hand here.  

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