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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Since my husband died suddenly, I have good days and bad days. The tears hit me out of the blue.  I could be at work or on my way home or sitting on the couch and then I start crying.  I will hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him. I miss our life together.  I miss my husband and best friend.  How do you deal with grief?  It is hard for people to understand what I am going through right now. No one knows what to say to me. Being a widow is tough.  I have a good support network.

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Comment by KJPE on January 30, 2019 at 3:57pm

I lost my husband October, 2018, just 3 months ago.  I cry multiple times a day, and I too ask myself when I will feel some peace and comfort.  From everything that I understand at this point, we only have one way to deal with the grief and that is to live through it and let it happen.  Tears come and go.  For me, they come when I am not actively engaged in something else, like talking, doing my job, or watching television or movies etc.  So I cry a lot in the car going from place to place or especially driving home to an empty house.  Two seconds after a happy occasion I am crying.  This is grief.  I'll share this beautiful sentiment with you that someone else shared with me:  

Grief, i’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go .
— Jamie Anderson
So I tell myself - all of this grief:  is the bounce back for all of the love that Greg and I shared.  We were so lucky.  Now, not so much, but all of the love is still there, and it is the source of the tears.
Comment by Thomsgirl on January 25, 2019 at 11:09am

I also lost my husband suddenly on March 31, 2016.  We were high school sweethearts and grew up together and were together for 42 years when he passed. I go to bed often with tears, wake up with tears, cry and tears at work and all through the day. It does feel like a punch in the stomach. We were best friends and did everything together and now it feels as if half of me is dead, and actually it is. Some days I wonder how I will continue to go on, but know I just have to. Songs are hard. I feel like I just function because I know I have to. I don't feel true joy or happiness in things like I used to. I have a good support system with my friends and family, children, but it is hard for them to completely understand how this feels.

Comment by sis on January 20, 2019 at 6:12pm

For me, I have decided to just work on one hour at a time. Some are good, some just ok, and others just plain sad. I lost my husband suddenly in March 2018 and life as I'd known it for almost 50 years changed in a moment. I have tears when I go to sleep, tears when I wake, and tears all through the day. not sobbing tears but the kind that choke you and feel like a punch in the stomach. I, too, have always identified people and moments of importance with music so I understand what you are saying about the songs. I choose to believe he is sending me his love when I hear them, because I don't believe in coincidence.I still can not get my mind around the word "widow" and not sure I ever will. I also have a good support system, but some haven't experienced it so they have a tough time actually griping what I am feeling. Friends and sisters are widows, but it has been a while now for them and I feel they get uncomfortable when I talk about him. It is amazing how the tiniest thing can turn on the tears because of a memory that only he and I would understand. I don't know how to deal with the grief, but wanted you to know you were heard and you are not alone. God Bless

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