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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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Since my husband died suddenly, I have good days and bad days. The tears hit me out of the blue.  I could be at work or on my way home or sitting on the couch and then I start crying.  I will hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him. I miss our life together.  I miss my husband and best friend.  How do you deal with grief?  It is hard for people to understand what I am going through right now. No one knows what to say to me. Being a widow is tough.  I have a good support network.

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Comment by Callie2 on March 14, 2019 at 1:15pm

Sorry for your loss, I know it is difficult. You ask “how you deal with grief?”  I think about all you can do is go with it.  Cry, allow yourself to feel it, do whatever you need to do. You can vent your feelings here among people that understand and can offer support. Have you looked into any grief share groups in your area? Some people find them helpful. I know it must be hard to be working when the tears start, I didn’t have to deal with that aspect. I do recall wearing sunglasses a lot whenever I went out. Can you slip away into the ladies room?

Things will get better, it just takes time. They’ll be more good days and less bad ones. It will test your patience though, grief will control you for a while but one day, you will know it has gone. We may not get over it but you will find peace. The profound sadness will ease and possibly, the sweetest memories will rise to the surface. Some may be bittersweet too but you will be more in control. Life may not be what you had planned but it can become good again.

Comment by KJPE on January 30, 2019 at 3:57pm

I lost my husband October, 2018, just 3 months ago.  I cry multiple times a day, and I too ask myself when I will feel some peace and comfort.  From everything that I understand at this point, we only have one way to deal with the grief and that is to live through it and let it happen.  Tears come and go.  For me, they come when I am not actively engaged in something else, like talking, doing my job, or watching television or movies etc.  So I cry a lot in the car going from place to place or especially driving home to an empty house.  Two seconds after a happy occasion I am crying.  This is grief.  I'll share this beautiful sentiment with you that someone else shared with me:  

Grief, i’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go .
— Jamie Anderson
So I tell myself - all of this grief:  is the bounce back for all of the love that Greg and I shared.  We were so lucky.  Now, not so much, but all of the love is still there, and it is the source of the tears.
Comment by sis on January 20, 2019 at 6:12pm

For me, I have decided to just work on one hour at a time. Some are good, some just ok, and others just plain sad. I lost my husband suddenly in March 2018 and life as I'd known it for almost 50 years changed in a moment. I have tears when I go to sleep, tears when I wake, and tears all through the day. not sobbing tears but the kind that choke you and feel like a punch in the stomach. I, too, have always identified people and moments of importance with music so I understand what you are saying about the songs. I choose to believe he is sending me his love when I hear them, because I don't believe in coincidence.I still can not get my mind around the word "widow" and not sure I ever will. I also have a good support system, but some haven't experienced it so they have a tough time actually griping what I am feeling. Friends and sisters are widows, but it has been a while now for them and I feel they get uncomfortable when I talk about him. It is amazing how the tiniest thing can turn on the tears because of a memory that only he and I would understand. I don't know how to deal with the grief, but wanted you to know you were heard and you are not alone. God Bless

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