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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

To really understand this blog we must imagine that we live in a virtue world where everyone believes in a higher source for their being and that Our loved ones have transitioned into a place that according to our higher source is a better place. We can examine this by trying to understand what this place has compared to the place they leave. I question why God chose my angel. Why couldn't he just leave him as a mortal being. Just to give a little background. I met my husband when I was a junior in college. I was introduced to him by a sorority sister in 1989 and we were inseparable until 2012. During the time I was within the same space as my husband we had 2 children. Had a house. 3'cars and both had jobs that were aligned to our educational level. He was a chronic drinker when I met him mad it continued through our marriage. He was functional, and was able to support his family. He had his first test in 2000 when he was diagnosed 1with a non curable lung disease. Of course on the beginning he was in denial, believing that he could still maintain his previous lifestyle. But our entire life changed. He got sicker. Could no longer work and became a stay at home dad. Cooking every night and ensuring the kids had someone to come home to. They began to develop a special relationship with their dad because he was with them most of the time while I worked long hours. Then something amazing happened he found Christ. And accepted him as his personal savior. We began attending church together and even became a part of our church's marriage ministry. All along he was still getting sicker and sicker. He began to volunteer and did special things for people in his family and mine. And to every stranger he ever met. He brought out the best in me. I was reserved. He taught me how to enjoy the moment and how to put trust into people mad to stay leveled as my income increased. The only problem was he continued to get sicker and sicker. How could someone who did so much for other be inflicted with so much pain. I became a better person because of him. I never thought that by doing his deeds he was preparing me for his departure and preparing his heart to receive God. But as I looked around all of his friends lives remained unchanged. They continued to drink heavily. Many of them didn't work, lived from day to day and had no assets like a bank account, investments, cars or property. And while they may not have been healthy they were not suffering in any way. I began to wonder why this man that I loved was beginning a transition and others were just concerned with transactions from day to day. My husband finally transition October 11, 2012. No man should have to suffer the way he did. So much medication. Oxygen. I'v lines. Heart medication through Iv. Weekly blood tests and continuously infection. It was actually an infection that lead to his death.

So now that you have heard my story, I ask again How does God chose his Angels, not why but how. I believe he looks for men with good souls. Souls that have poured out blessings to others without the expectancy of a return. He looks for men who were good to their wives and children. One who guided his household and protected it. One who body's could no longer carry the weight but one who's soul could linger on earth and could still have the effect of his presence. Most importantly God chose my angel to watch over me. God knew he physically couldn't protect me. But he knew that his spirit could protect me. Being an angel is not like choosing saintship. That for a different category of human being. But angels are ordinary people who are able to touch as many lives within their reach, and their love is transferable. I am amazed that my husband became an angel so young but I'm grateful that I loved him in his physical life and continue to love him in his spiritual life.

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Comment by Grenville25 on July 20, 2015 at 10:42am

thank you for posting this.  My husband died 7 months ago after  2 year battle with pancreatic cancer, age 52. Too young. During our lives I knew he was a good man, moral, christian, charitable, giving. He kindly chastized me for cursing and i tried to stop. He gave so much to others, in the good times, he was shy but very decent people knew that instinctively. And since he passed I too have asked, why God did you let such a very good man get so sick, enduring the chemo, and all that goes with it? what did he do to deserve it? Was he too good for this earth, and God rescued him? I joked, that when we toured Europe and he climbed to the very top of the biggest churches, that God caught a glimpse of him...silly i know. I am trying to model myself after my husband and learn to be more generous, and forgiving. I only hope its true that when I too move on from this earth, he will be there to welcome me. I like to think he is watching over me now - just as he did when he was alive and strong.

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