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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

   I've been having a very hard time sense my father passed away 9 days ago. I don't sleep more then 2 hours a night and even then it's on and off. This got me to wondering if all of our grief gets compounded together. My Husband KC passed away May 14th 2011 and sense that day I've also lost my brother in law, 2 aunts, 4 good friends, my best friend of 45 years and now my Father in less then 3 years. 

   Do we some how departmentalize them all differently without even knowing it, or do they all just pill up until we break? I do know that by having my Dad move in with me into hospice, the same room, bed and everything as my husband it impacted me more then I could of ever imagined. But I also know if I had it to do over again I wouldn't change a thing. The time I spent with my dad was worth every tear and sleepless night I'll ever have. I'm just wondering when and how I'll ever begin to heal when I move from one into another so fast.

   I know I'll never get over my Husband or my Father. They were and will always be the cornerstone of my life. Even though they are no longer with me the lessons, love and faith they instilled in me will always be here. I will proudly do my best to pass all of it down to my children and grand children. The one think I hope with all my heart is to make them both proud of me because I know they are still with me.  Sending my love to all.

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Comment by Geek Princess on March 12, 2014 at 6:25am
I'm so sorry for your pain. My Councelor is big on getting enough sleep, and getting exercise. She suggested sleeping pills for me when I've had a few bad nights and my doc agreed, so I can get a solid night's sleep once in a while at least (I don't use them every day). If you're sleeping only 2 hours that might be making it worse, ask your doctor what they recommend.
Comment by Marsha on February 28, 2014 at 3:49pm

(((((Lisa) I am so sorry to hear about your father. I do believe KC and your Dad are with you watching over you. So hard to be at the beginning of another journey. Not sure how we have gotten through each day but somehow we do. Think we know we will be with our loved ones again some day and each day lived is one day closer to being back with them. Pray you find some peace and comfort as you take baby steps through this valley.

Comment by Doug02122014 on February 27, 2014 at 8:46pm


Sorry for your losses.  I lost my wife of 19-yes on 2/12/2014, and cannot imagine multiply losses.  You've got to be made of steel.

Take care


Comment by missmyhunny on February 26, 2014 at 11:44pm

Lisa, Here is the link from here for the group.

Comment by missmyhunny on February 26, 2014 at 11:42pm

Hi Lisa, My Deepest Sympathy on your losses. It is never easy when we barely have time to grieve for one family member and another dies in short succession. I have had the happen numerous times throughout my life.

Sometimes i don't know who i am grieving for, but my heart usually lets me know, and other times it just all seems to blend together. I think they call it "Complicated Grief", and there is a lot of information on it on the internet, some of which you might find helpful. I think there is also a Group on here at WV that is for people going through this type of grief, where they have multiple losses to deal with.

Love, Prayers & (((((Hugs))))) to you.

Comment by only1sue on February 26, 2014 at 9:24pm

My husband died on 19th September 2012 and my Mum on 20th November 2012.  I know that that double impact took a long time to get over.  I couldn't believe it could happen like that, my only just 70 year old husband dying followed so closely by my 94 year old mother.  But death does not come in date order and somehow after falling into that black hole we slowly climb back out again.

I hope it gets easier to bear as time goes by.  Be kind to yourself and ignore those who are not.


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