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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

Facebook is a way for me to stay in touch with family and friends since most of them live back east.

But some days FB is very hard for me. Like today. A friend of a friend is receiving her new heart today. Part of me is so excited for her, but there's a huge part of me that just doesn't care. I would rather not hear/read about it.

This makes me feel bad. I know most of these people were there supporting us when Patrick got his transplant, and so many went out of their way to share Patrick's story and his page so others could pray for him too.

So I should do that for others, right? But I can't. I've said a pray for her, the donor, their family, doctors. Everyone involved. But I can't bring myself to do anymore.

Thankfully most of my friends seem to be understanding. There's those 1 or 2 that just don't get it, and probably never will.

Even so. I still feel bad because that big part of me just doesn't care.

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Comment by Suz on November 18, 2012 at 1:52pm

I did go back and read what missingrkk said. Very well spoken and very gracious words.

Comment by forever56 on November 18, 2012 at 1:26pm

@ Suz--  Like

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on November 18, 2012 at 1:08pm

Can't say it any better than MissingRKK did.

Comment by Suz on November 18, 2012 at 12:31pm

Sam, thank you for being so honest with your comments. You really do a service to us all. I admire you for telling the friends "outside of this group" about your feelings. I am not sure I would tell mine. I just don't think they would "get it."

Forever 56, you almost make me laugh, in a really twisted way. That is just the commercial I am talking about. It drives me nuts. Plus, the woman is from South Dakota, as we are so it doubly drives me nuts, because I kind of identify.  I turn it off. I never want to see that place (I know this is all crazy and twisted). Jud was a physician and his feeling was that they robbed a lot of people blind and really didn't get any better results than anyone else. PC is a nasty disease with no real cure. If you are lucky, you get a Whipple but I have sure talked to a lot of people who have had one and are miserable. I always want to tell that woman to "shut up." (how crazy is that!!!)

Comment by MrsD on November 18, 2012 at 12:25pm
I don't want to go to al anon because I don't want to associate with people whose alcoholic loved ones are still alive and still have a chance. There, I said it.
Comment by forever56 on November 18, 2012 at 12:21pm

Wow- Suz et al,  Yes!  Whenever I read an article about some miracle occurring and hear of some person living with pancreatic cancer for 5 years or just living longer than the 7 mos my husband got, I am PO'd.  Cancer Treatment Centers of America is famous for this type of advertising.  Making it sound like if I had been able to go there (I tried, but they don't take our insurance) I would be traveling with my husband right now instead of writing thank you's to people who came to my DH's memorials.

Comment by Joyce on November 16, 2012 at 7:01pm

Oh Sam, I understand how you feel, you said a prayer for them, I think that's alot.  Like janet said - take care of you.

Comment by Morgana (Janet) on November 16, 2012 at 3:55pm

((((Sam)))) you do what you need to do to take care of you.


Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on November 16, 2012 at 2:52pm

(((((((((((((((Sam)))))))))))))))  you have done what you can, sedning prayers...



Comment by judy on November 16, 2012 at 10:27am

Totally am there too. I spoke with someone who was in the hospital the same time as Justin - he is slowly dying - but she said everyone can't believe he is still alive. Why can't Justin be alive still too? Just not fair - but then I look at it another way - would Justin want to be just existing and slowly dying? He was very very active - and this would of devastated him. Just myself being selish wanting him alive with me and missing him so much.

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