So to make a horrific situation worse, the funeral home botched my husband's burial. As I believe I previously mentioned, we're very poor and my husband didn't leave any life insurance, will or anything else. His second cousin, who works at a funeral home assured me that he would handle everything and would make sure that my husband had a proper, decent funeral and burial.
The funeral was very nice, but at my husband's internment, my family and I were unceremoniously told by the second cousin, that my husband would not be buried that day, nor would he be buried at the spot where they had placed the casket. He said the reason was because it was raining and the burial site was unstable.
I was not informed when the actual burial took place and only found out by seeing a Facebook post by the second cousin of a mound of dirt with the funeral flowers on it that he identified as being my husband's burial site. I went to visit the alleged burial site, and sure enough, there was nothing there other than the funeral flowers strewn on a pile of dirt. No marker or anything officially identifying that was where my husband was buried.
I called the cousin who assured me that my husband had a "proper burial", and that the flowers would be sufficient as a temporary marker. He said it would be months before I would be able to put a permanent stone marker in that spot because the ground was so unstable. He said in the meantime I could make a cross and put some temporary fence around the site.
That weekend, my daughter and I bought the materials to construct a cross marker and enough garden fencing to mark the site. We went back to the site, and the entire area had been bulldozed, filled in with extra dirt and plowed over. There is absolutely nothing there to identify where my husband is allegedly buried.
I left several messages for the cemetery grounds manager and finally received a call from someone who said he was the manager and he could show me where my husband is allegedly buried. He also said there was no marker. This is of absolutely no comfort to me. With no concrete visual proof of his having been laid to rest, no proof of burial, and no identifying marker, I’ve spent many sleepless nights wondering where my husband’s body is laid to rest or if it has been laid to rest at all, and I’m left with no closure and no way to properly mourn him.
I filed a complaint with the state cemetery board and after their investigation found that the cemetery followed the second cousin's order as a "drop off" case and not a full burial service. The cemetery said this was because the second cousin told them they were only being paid $524 by social services for the burial. This second cousin actually charged me and my sister-in-law cash, and billed social services. When I thought about it later, his actions were despicable that entire day, but I was in such a state of shock and grief I really didn't have it in me to argue. The cemetery said they will disinter and conduct a burial service for my husband at a cost of an additional $1,800, plus whatever additional fees for another funeral home.
I'm so exhausted from the whole thing, I'm ready to just throw up both hands and not even go to the cemetery anymore. He's dead. He's buried somewhere. It's just wondering where is what really bothers me. My therapist suggested I should file whatever complaints necessary until I get closure, but do I really want them to dig him up, view his rotting body, and have them re-bury him again? I don't know if that would give me closure or make matters worse.