Yesterday morning I decided to give Florida a chance; this morning I am homesick, depressed, and physically ill. My senses are currently bombarded with the smell of cat. I am literally in the vicinity of three litter ones as we speak. I am tired for I didn't sleep well. I feel like I'm putting on a show when inside I'm unsure and unhappy...and extremely sick and tired of CATS. My heart wishes I had the money right now to ship my stuff and move; I'm 90 percent packed. Oh the confusion is there, the depression lurking, and my happiness waning. I look at myself in the mirror and hate what I see: i have a haircut I despise, my body marred by scratches and a huge bruise from a shot, my body hunched, and I don't care. If I die, I would be free of this mortal shell and I find myself wishing for death. God take me now for I cannot bear it anymore. I don't like what I see, my mind is filled with loneliness and despair today that I hope to shake this off.
When will this get better? When will I be happy again? I want off this ride.