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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

I have always believed that those that have passed visit us in our dreams.  I have had many conversations with my dad (died in 94) my grandmas (2008 and 2011) along with my best friend (94). 

So the dreams I am having now freak me out for many reasons. 

Last nights dream was one.

In the dream Patrick is here. Like nothing ever happened (but in back of my mind I knew it wasn't possible). We were sitting up in bed talking about what we needed to do this week.  Then the phone rings.  Patrick said that his hasn't been working, so he needed to call later and find out what's going on.  When I answer it, it's Stanford telling us they found a heart. I assume it was for Patrick, so we get kids ready and drop them off with a friend.

But during this rush, I hand Patrick a kidney (an actual human kidney) for him to put back in.

On the way to Stanford we talk Robbie playing lacrosse and how happy Patrick is that Robbie found something he truly loves.  Talking about Robbie's goal to become a cardiothoracic surgeon and that everything Robbie has been through has only fueled his fire for this.  But that it's only the beginning and the future will tell us just how much he wants it.

Then we get to Stanford and that's when I realize no one else can see Patrick. He then informs me the heart isn't for him because when they did the autopsy they took parts needed to hook up the new heart, plus hes been gone almost 10 months.  I ask him what he did with the kidney I gave him, and he pulls it out of his pocket.

He tells me the new heart is for Robbie, but that I wont find out he needs it for another couple of weeks.

I tell him that I don't believe it, and he told me to remember what the doctors always told him, that it was amazing how good he looked and how well he was doing considering how sick his heart was. Then he told me, I have been strong once, I can do it again, and he promised this time it will have a positive outcome. That's when I woke up.

The dream was so real that I was startled that I was in alone in bed when I woke up.

I have been on edge and stressed about Robbie's appointment with the cardiologist this Friday, so I know that's part of the reason behind this dream, but I also feel like it was Patrick giving me a message. 

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Comment by bj628(Bonnie) on February 4, 2013 at 8:12am

(((((((((((((Sam))))))))))))))   I know I HATE being told how strong I am.  The truth is we do find that inner strength in crisis. strength we never wanted to have to find. And like mother tigers with our Families we do

pull it out. I don't even begin to know where to start . To tell you, that you, Robbie & Jazzy are amazing is a total under statement. It seems the "waiting" for results and tests takes forever and puts our minds way into overdrive. Getting results are at least a starting poing for plans and treatments.

 Please know I wish nothing but the BEST for you and your family You have touched my heart tremendously.

 I said to a lady... what did I do so wrong to get all this.  She said.. You didn't do anything wrong. You were chosen to be the person to be in the lives of the people help, to Love and receive their love and help them through this crisis. They know they had TRUE love and caring... for the time you had them.

 Sending loving wishes and prayers that all will be well with Robbie... or at the least something very minor that can be fixed easily.


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