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I have been robbed of our future together. Robbed of our late night talks and snuggles. Robbed of seeing your smiles at our Daughters weddings in the future. Robbed of watching you become a grandmother, and playing with your grandbabies. Robbed of seeing your hair turn gray, and getting wrinkles ( I would have still thought you were the most beautiful girl ever). Robbed of vacations together. Robbed of sitting on our front porch swing, holding hands, and reminiscing about our life. Robbed of my life. Robbed of all that is important to me. I would gladly be robbed of everything material, if only I could have you back!

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Comment by my roses on September 27, 2013 at 8:59am

   to Jake  from my roses 27th September

Yes I am about 9 mths out now from the loss of my beloved.   I have been journeying with a  lady chaplain over this time, as I met her in hospital.  She agreed to come to see me once a month which was unusual. Today she came and we talked about the almost  unbearable loss which one feels.  It comes in waves.  Yes to the holding hands, the snuggles, the reminiscing about our life and planning more wonderful things together.  His daughter said to me  that  he had been robbed of his life.  I said yes I agree.  His parents and other relatives lived into their 90's and even to 100 yrs of age.   I said to the Chaplain that I am totally changed,  even my HANDWRITING has changed!!  I cry not only for him but over the others I see on this website, and the widows I know here in Australia.  So much suffering - and we have all given so much, done and said everything we could to keep them alive.  Torn by the pain and yet longing to see their face, wondering if  anyone else can even partially replace your beloved.  Then flinching at the thought of being with anyone else but your precious person.  My Dr. said losing your loved one was terrible.  I replied that it was horrific.  I saw a photo of us some years ago while in San Francisco -  we looked so at peace, so happy, nothing like I look now.  My face and  all those who grieve have this look in their eyes- no sparkle remains. The greater the love - the greater the loss.  My chaplain said one feels like this because so much has been invested in this relationship, of giving, loving, sometimes almost sacrificial  when being a carer 24 hrs a day.  Yet we would do it all again.   Most widows I know feel very alone.  For me the pain is the worst ever in my life and I have had other losses.  No matter what I do, concerts, walking, singing etc. nothing takes away the pain. I am crying a bit less but anything can set the tears off again.  I would not wish this journey on anyone.  Nothing replaces the love of your life.

Comment by AEDforever (Ali) on May 31, 2013 at 4:37pm

Yes, Jake.  It's an awful feeling having all of that taken from you.  Be angry - you should be. Yes, you were robbed.

Comment by Ellen on May 27, 2013 at 3:25pm

You are absolutely right, Jake.  Our loved one has been ripped from our lives and it hurts like hell.  Only someone who has experienced this kind of pain can truly understand what we are going through.  My husband died suddenly, without warning, on New Year's Day and it still feels so unreal and beyond belief.  Life is so cruel and unfair, yet we have to find a way to get through this excruciating ordeal, if only one day at a time.  I also understand your mixed feelings about wanting to re-connect with someone at some point, but only time will tell what is in store for each of us.  For now I just pray to have some solace and peace and I wish the same to everyone here as we get through each day.  Ellen

Comment by Suz on May 27, 2013 at 1:01pm

I know how you feel. You put some of my feelings into words. We were robbed of so much that cannot be replaced in any way. 

Comment by Barbie Doll on May 27, 2013 at 9:49am

Yes, we have all been robbed of the life we thought we would have forever with the person we loved most in the world:(  It's so unfair and so painful.  I've come to the conclusion that no amount of begging or pleading or deal making will bring him back.  

Comment by Jerry on May 27, 2013 at 7:16am
I know the feeling. I guess our wives were robbed too. Just the other day I took my grandchildren to the movies, they are 9,7, and 5. As they were cracking up I smiled and then a sad feeling came over me. There grandmother, they called her Nonni, was missing this great movement. But maybe just maybe she is not, I can only hope. My wife was 55 when she passed away,she never looked it until the last few months when the cancer began take hold of her. I to would give all I have to be able to,grow old with her.

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