A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation
I'm Ready to Go Back North
Yes, it seems I'm flip flopping on this but my heart is really into going back to New York City. My instinct nags me that something about this move down is not right. Call it homesickness if you will but in my bones I feel something is amiss. I'm trapped, far worse than where I was in New Jersey. I'm dependent on my friends to take me everywhere, which sucks tremendously. This may sound stupid but I miss the variety of FOOD! New York/New Jersey has many different ethnic choices; I am craving for Indian food like you wouldn't believe (yes I checked, there are no Indian restaurants here).
Do I want to work for Disney? Yes, but not at the risk of loosing myself. Will I consider this a failure if I do move back? Quite honestly no. I've looked into myself and realized that I am who I am and am strong enough to move forward. This didn't work out, fine. Move back to New York City and start all over again there. What do I have to lose? I've already lost my dear husband and am surviving. If I can survive THAT I can survive anything that comes my way. The most important thing is that I will always have God and John with me wherever I am. I believe in Him, I believe he has a plan for me--just not here in Florida.
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Comment
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Comment by judy on October 5, 2012 at 4:10pm
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Emy,
Are you working yet? If not, I think if you had a place to go every day or almost every day and take those driving lessons that you talked about - you wouldn't have to depend on your friends and you would feel much better about yourself. Just my thoughts..... Remember I want to see you soon here in FL
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Comment by bad ass widow on October 5, 2012 at 11:35am -
Emy, Life is nothing if not a series of trying new things. You tried something new and thats what counts. There is no failure only lessons learned. Good luck to you.
(((Hugs)))
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Comment by Sunflower37 on October 5, 2012 at 12:00am -
Hi emy, i'm sorry the move is not working out for you. You are absolutely right, we are surviving this unfortunate journey, so do what is right for you. I wish you well.
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Comment by Marsha on October 4, 2012 at 10:06pm -
Emy do what you instinct and heart tell you. I always seem to know when I am ready to move forward and accomplish my next step. We cannot push ourselves into our new life. We need time to figure it out and who the new me is to evolve into. Sending you warm thoughts, love and hugs as you continue on your path.
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