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I found that I have fallen into some bad patterns. I work all day, come home and do as little as I have to get diner made and then sit in front of the TV or laptop and become some form for a vegetable. Once I am in the vegetable stage I am able to feel really sorry for myself and usually don’t care about anyone else in the world.  Yes a real self-pity party.


I realized I needed to start doing things that I enjoy to get out of the self-pity mode. One thing is I thought of is doing some hobbies. I use to do some amateur acting but haven’t over the last few years. So this fall I am joining a community theater and hope it get a small role. This would be a good way for me to make some new friends.


Also, back before I had kids, I use to do counted cross stitch. Yes I said, counted cross stitch. My wife Melanie’s family often gave handmade gifts and I wanted to make something for her. She was doing a cross stitch so I asked her a bunch of questions. Then I bought a small kit. I would work on it during my lunch break and nights that Melanie was working. I really enjoyed making it and Melanie loved it when I gave it to her. So I bought a second kit and so on. Over about 5 years or so I did a bunch of things including two big projects that each took me about a year.


So this is what I did while on vacation this summer. I start my next project tomorrow. 

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Comment by Mariposa on September 1, 2013 at 9:20am

Beautiful! Good luck with the hobbies.

Comment by lauriesv on August 28, 2013 at 5:35pm
Very beautiful. I used to do cross stitch too years ago but after I had LASIK on my eyes then my close up vision changed. I'd need to get magnifying glasses too. I took up or should say got back into crocheting last summer and took sort of class at a local yarn shop. It was more like a drop in and a handful of women sat and crocheted and there was an instructor who helped if needed or taught to new people. No one there knew I was only widowed five months before that. Guess I didn't feel right just blurting it out but if anyone would have asked about my marital status I might have said but I just went for something to do and get out do the house and my sadness. I haven't gone now since last fall but thinking about it again.
Comment by halfofawhole (lynn) on August 27, 2013 at 11:19am


Comment by Joyce on August 27, 2013 at 5:57am

Aslan, that's a beautiful cross stitch.  I relate to the vegetable/couch potato/self pity mode.  Come home from work, eat whatever, plop on the couch for the night.   Like you, I realized that I had to come up with something to do.  I've been doing a lot and I mean a lot of walking lately with my dog which I know is good for both of us.  But it's a solitary thing (you can only have so many conversations with your dog) and I need to find a hobby that involves other people.  Thanks for sharing.

Comment by Lauralee on August 27, 2013 at 5:51am

Aslan - your counted cross stitch is beautiful.  Like you, I used to do many crafts before I had children then found it hard to concentrate on those types of hobbies.  I loved counted cross stitch, embrodiery and knitting.  I planned on getting back into crafts when my husband and I retired. I had signed up for a knitting class the week before Robert died and when I went to it, the class had been cancelled and they forgot to notify me.  After he died, my mother showed me how to cast on stiches and do the basic knit and purl.  So I furiously began knitting and knitting all hours of the day and night when I couldn't sleep or concentrate on much else.  I made simple blankets for some of the women where I used to work for their new grandchildren. My mother would complete my project and she kept saying she would show me how to do that soon. Unfortunately, her mental capacity has dimished this past year with some major health problems and she can't remember how to do that now.  So, just yesterday I signed up for a beginning knitting class.  I feel like if I am creating something, I am productive.  I used to love giving my handmade items as gifts and everyone always seemed to really like them. I hope I can get that feeling back! I hope you can enjoy your "new" hobbies and that they may give you some peace on our new journey.

Comment by Morgana (Janet) on August 27, 2013 at 5:41am

Aslan, that is very pretty and well done.  I also cross stitch and crochet, maybe one of these days I pick them up again and finish them.  I totally relate to the self-pity party as I have a had a few myself especially here of late with it getting closer to the 2 yr mark.

Getting out and being around people does help.  Hugs and may your days be softer.

Comment by only1sue on August 27, 2013 at 4:23am

I am thinking the same thing, I need new hobbies, something with people involvement as I really need to step outside my present circle and make some friends my own age.  As we went through Ray's journey with stroke we lost friends and now even the friends I made on the journey are fading.  Hard to think that what we had in common is now gone and somehow I need to pick myself up and carry on alone.

Nice cross-stitch, I have a tapestry lurking somewhere, maybe I should take a look at that again.

Comment by Dianne in Nevada on August 26, 2013 at 8:00pm

Excellent, Aslan!  Finding things to occupy our time that we enjoy really does make a difference.

I used to love to do counted cross stitch in my younger years. Perhaps I'll pull out an old project I never finished ... but first I'll need to purchase a really strong magnifyer!

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